The Return of The Gal Pals
by Gryffindor Hot Shot
Summary: Join the Gals as they tumble back into the time of Davy Jones and The Flying Dutchman! In this Sequel Xio helps Alexia push Will away with a firm hand with Jack hovering closely in the background, whilst Chelsea helps Lizzie get over rejection. Fun, FUN!
1. A Real Birthday Surprise

Ahh and here we begin again but something has changed. The girls aren't the same teeny bopping fans they were three years ago. Yes three years. They are now facing the realities of college and the pressure of senior exams. But the summer has returned and they take one last trip to the Beach House where it all started. Have their obsessions of pirates disappeared over all the years of application deadlines and final exams?

_Doubt it. CHICKA CHICKA YEAH!_

**Happy to say again, I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest.**

* * *

Chelsea: 5 6" Dirty blonde hair cut in a razor bob that fits her so well, has developed a lasting tan from tanning sessions with her mother, is completely obsessed with her new boyfriend Justin, and is currently 17.

Xio: 5 4" Not much changed. Dark brown hair still cut past her shoulders with emo bangs, though she wishes she could do highlights without looking like a complete fool, and takes pride in wearing nothing but her glasses.19.

Alexia: 5 5" Dark brown hair cut at shoulder's length not a centimeter more, with additional layering and bangs. Tan is killer and she still depends on her purple plastic glasses and has just turned 18.

* * *

Alexia and Xio were leaning against the railing on the patio looking out at the waves pounding the sand. The sun was beginning to set which meant they had an hour or so before it got completely dark. Chelsea came running up from the kitchen with a champagne bottle in one hand and three champagne glasses in the other.

"Drinks all around!" She announced trying for a Scottish accent but getting a bit of a cross between a British and Polish one. Xio helped her out by taking the champagne glasses from her so she could apply pressure to the bottles top.

"May I ask why, after being here for no more than two hours, we are even having drinks?" Alexia asked skeptically but still smiling at the fact that Chelsea had chosen her favorite alcoholic beverage, champagne, than the usual vodka and coke.

"To celebrate your birthday of course!" Chelsea cheered as cork top went flying like a rogue firework at a Fourth of July display and frizzy champagne burst over mouth of the bottle and onto her shoes. Xio, with ninja like abilities, caught the top and placed it on the coffee table.

"Nice shot." Alexia laughed taking a glass from Xio so Chelsea could fill it. Once the glasses were filled Chelsea raised hers in a toast.

"To the bomb diggity-ist birthday girl around!" She smiled clinking her glass against Alexia and Xio's.

"Yes, to the girl who has looked forward to her eighteenth birthday ever since the first time she saw one of those call if you're eighteen years or older infomercials." Xio tipped her glass to Alexia who sipped from hers.

"Why thank you, thank you!" Alexia took a grand bow and Chelsea clapped her hands.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Chelsea reached behind her and pulled out a small wrapped present. Xio raised an eyebrow at her.

"Uhh… Chelsea did you have that in your bra strap?" Xio asked pointing at the small present. When Chelsea nodded Alexia laughed.

"She gets that from me. Good girl." She petted Chelsea hair the way she liked and took the present from her. Xio watched as her sister ripped the wrapping from the present like an excited five year old. Alexia screamed when she realized what she was holding.

"Pirate of the Caribbean Dead Mans Chest and At Worlds End!" She started doing the cabbage patch with a DVD case in each hand.

"Yeah. Since we hadn't bought At Worlds End yet I figure we should. And I do owe you a new Dead Mans Chest because of what happened to the other one." Chelsea said bashfully digging the tip of her shoes into a knot in the patio floor. Xio slapped an arm around her shoulders and shook her a little bit.

"It's okay. Who knew those cases were so flammable." Xio reassured Chelsea as Alexia fired up the DVD player. Xio stopped her.

"Do you think it'll happen again?" Alexia looked over her shoulder to her sister.

"I don't know. But there's only one way to find out." Alexia grinned and hit the eject button, placing Dead Man's Chest on the rack cautiously.

"Let the games begin." Alexia hopped onto the couch and fished under the cushions for the DVD remote.

"Hey. Where do you guys hide the remote?" Xio was about to answer her sister when the DVD player started playing the movie. Chelsea stared at the screen, dumbstruck.

"Thanks for that." Alexia stood on the couch and gestured for Xio and Chelsea to join her.

"That right there wasn't us." Chelsea defending as she carefully made her way onto the couch. Alexia helped Xio up.

"Rave dance time!" Alexia shouted and started rave dancing. After three successful trips to a teen club the girls had perfected their rave dance. A lot of rolling you shoulders back, head bowed, and your hair swaying gently. But most important was that your drink never moved in your hand as you dance. Chelsea and Xio joined in as the previews flipped by and the opening music started. Chelsea, trying for a high kick without spilling her drink, tripped backwards and the couch rocked dangerously on its two back feet.

"Watch it Chelsea." Xio warned but Alexia joined Chelsea in rocking the couch.

"Come on Xio. Live a little." Alexia elbowed her in the ribs.

"Big finish!" She squatting down and prepared to jump.

"One." Chelsea squatted down with Alexia.

"Come on Alexia." Xio whined but Alexia shook her head.

"Two."

"Just like last time Xio. Do it!" Chelsea demanded.

"THREE!" Alexia shouted and all three girls jumped just as the opening music for Dead Mans Chest kicked it up a notch. When they landed the couch rocketed backwards and off the deck. A familiar feeling came over the girls as the scene around them vanished. They waited patiently for their backs to hit the silky soft san of the Caribbean Beach just like so many summers ago but they never did.

"Alexia Xio!" Chelsea screamed but it was so faint Alexia could barely hear her.

"Guys?" She shouted but no one answered her this time.

* * *

So the girls are on their way back. I just can't wait! Yay! Reviews are much appreciated, as many as you want to post. And tell your friends of my crazy story.


	2. Hallelujah, It's Raining Teenage Girls!

Here's another chapter but not similar to the last trip back to the Caribbean. While taken back this time the girls are separated. Xio lands with Will and learns a terrible truth. Chelsea drops in on Elizabeth on her soggy wedding day and notices two things that are out of place. Like a game of I spy.

**Don't Own Pirates, Especially Not Dead Mans Chest**

* * *

Xio landed on hard ground of Will's workshop. When she sat up she caught sight of Will checking himself out in a full length mirror.

"Will, may I ask what it is your doing?" Xio snickered. Will dropped what he had been holding, spun around on his heel with his cutlass out and at the ready. When he saw no one he looked down at Xio rolling on the floor, laughing her butt off.

"Please make your presence known the next time you enter my work place." Will narrowed his eyes at Xio and sheathed his sword. He then bent over to pick up what he had dropped earlier. Xio raised an eyebrow.

"What's that?" She asked, pointing to Will's hand.

"Nothing." Will said innocently putting both hands behind his back but Xio was already on her feet.

"Let me see whatcha got there." Xio said with an almighty stare and an out stretched hand. Will thought of his options and buckled under the pressure. With a sigh he handed over the object he had been hiding.

"Fine, there." Will grumbled crossing his arms. Xio stared at the remote in her hand.

"No way." She gawked at Will, "No flippin' way! You kept this?"

Will shifted his eyes uncomfortable and Xio took notice of this.

"What were you just doing with this?" Xio asked holding the remote by the corner, away from herself dry heaving a little. Will detected Xio's dirty assumptions.

"Nothing. I just hit a few button to see what would happen! I swear." Will pleaded.

"Which ones?" Xio questioned in a steady tone one hand pressed against her head.

"Well that menu button and then the play one. But it did nothing." Will shrugged nonchalantly. Xio nodded.

"Will. Not to pry or anything but why aren't you at the wedding yet?" Xio asked pocketing the remote.

"What wedding?" Will asked unthinkingly. Xio stationed her hands steadily on her hips and kicked out her leg.

"You and Ms. Swann's wedding master Turner. That wedding. The wedding that was supposed to take place today." Xio said confronting Will but he was already pushing her aside when front door of the smithy burst open.

"EEEP!" Xio gasped hiding herself behind Will as soldiers swarmed the small room. Xio hadn't seen some much red fabric since the Release of Sweeney Todd Movie.

"They're not nice and are going to arrest you and Lizzie and maybe me and Chelsea too." Xio whispered quickly from her hiding place. Lord Cutler Beckett stood in the doorway with a pair of manacles hanging from his hand.

"Mr. William Turner, I presume." Beckett said arrogantly, he raised an eyebrow at Xio who popped her head over Will's shoulder like a Jack in the box.

"And can it one of the mysterious young ladies that helped you break out a prisoner of the East India Trading Company?" Beckett gestured to one of his soldiers and they brought forth another pair of manacles.

"I might be. But what are you going to do about it Neo Nazi?" Xio sassed from her perch on Will's shoulder. Beckett put a hand on his chest as if he was suffering from a heart attack.

"Excuse me?" Beckett gasped in surprise to the young girls comment. Xio then sidestepped out from behind Will and stood strong.

"You and your little guards here," Xio gestured to the soldiers around the room, "are so cute thinking you can keep me locked up. But what really makes you think you can capture me for very long?" She challenged Beckett with a defiant glare but all he did was chuckle.

"Arrest them." Beckett ordered turning and leaving the room. His soldiers surged forward and cuffed Will and Xio roughly.

"Watch the hands Garson." Xio kicked a soldier in the shin whose hands went a little lower than necessary during the search for weapons. The two were then led out of the smithy and onto the empty streets of Port Royal. All the residents locked their doors and windows to either the storm or the soldier invasion.

"Nothing like a nice walk through the rain." Xio commented jingling her chains annoyingly making Beckett grind his teeth angrily.

"Calm yourself sir she's obviously trying to get the better of you." Mercer reasoned but Beckett shook his head.

"She's like a little kid at a candy store." He replied through a clenched jaw and a twitching eye. He looked to Xio. She gave him a glare that could save the polar ice caps from melting and shook her chains harder.

"I can't be around her." Beckett whispered persist.

Mercer gestured Beckett to continue and he led his red coat procession on the back of his horse as they headed toward the garden area where Elizabeth was waiting. After a reasonable pause Beckett asked as politely as possible,

"Do you mind stopping that Little Missy?" But Xio was making it hard as she continued to jangle her chains louder than ever. Will gave her a look to please stop but she ignored him.

"Get off your high horse and stop judging people." Xio snapped as Beckett put up a hand to halt his parade at the archway leading to the courtyard. He gave Xio one last severe look before walking towards the archway.

* * *

Chelsea opened her eyes and became aware of the fact that she was laying flat on the wet ground of Port Royal. Raindrops made their way into her eyes as she sat up and glanced around. The thunder rumbled low overhead. She noticed Lizzie kneeling on the ground, as well, before of her. She wore a yellow wedding dress and veil completely soaked through from the rain.

"Lizzie?" Chelsea touched her shoulder lightly and drew back when Lizzie flinched. She turned slightly to face Chelsea but her expression was detached, her eyes dull.

"Lizzie? You okay?" Chelsea leaned toward Elizabeth, waving a hand in front of her face until her eyes came back into focus.

"Chelsea?" She questioned, a smile growing.

"Yes my dear. How are you on this dreadful day?" Chelsea asked brightly. Elizabeth laughed and hugged Chelsea close.

"I did not recognize you with your shorter hair." She held Chelsea at arm length to look her over, "You look cute but what is it you are wearing?"

Chelsea looked down at her attire. She was wearing a green tank top with white polka dots, a visible pink bra, her favorite jeans, and green converse. Not proper clothing for a young woman.

"Damn. I though I might come back in my pirate gear, for sure. Frick." Chelsea cursed but Elizabeth was staring at some point beyond her shoulder. Chelsea swiveled to see a guard of soldiers standing under a turret that ran the length of the small garden courtyard. There stood Will in manacles with Xio standing next to him, also manacled.

"Double Frick." Chelsea said under her breath slapping a hand to her head. Elizabeth shakily got to her feet and ran to the turret. That was when Chelsea saw the garden was completely empty. There were no chairs for a wedding reception or teacups for teatime.

"What the hell is going on?" Chelsea asked herself as she made her way to the turret but Beckett stood in her way.

"Ah, and here we are with yet another mysterious young lady who also needs to be arrested." Becket gestured to his right hand man Mercer, a man with a stony expression permanently plastered on his wrinkled face and manly pony tail, who cuffed Chelsea and pushed her aside. She slammed into Xio, which started a domino effect of Xio hitting Will and Will hitting the soldier next to him. Will smiled innocently at the soldier.

"Make way! Let me through." The Governor shouted thrusting his way through the crowd but two soldiers crossed the spears and barred his path.

"How dare you!" He gasped in irritation at the soldier's actions, "Stand your men down this instance! Do you hear me?"

"Hey Xio you too?" Chelsea asked gesturing to her clothes and Xio's. She noticed that Xio was also wearing normal clothing. The usual kaki cargo pants, a navy blue and white striped short sleeve shirt, and navy converse. Xio raised an eyebrow.

"Governor Weatherby Swann," A soldier stepped forward to help Beckett take off his rain coat, "it's been too long."

Governor Swann leaned in, squinting his eyes at Beckett until he recognized his friend from England.

"Cutler Beckett?" Governor asked uncertainly.

"No. It's Lord now. Stupid twit got promoted." Xio scoffed, making everyone snicker. Beckett gave the crowd the stink eye and quieted them. Beckett then signaled to the soldiers and they uncrossed their spear and allowed the Governor to step forward.

"Lord or not, you have no reason and no authority to arrest this man and these young ladies." The Governor said superiorly motioning towards Will. Chelsea nodded.

"Sure 'nough." Chelsea agreed with the Governor. Elizabeth stood looking down at her hand and occasionally allowing herself to glance at Will.

"In fact, I do. Mr. Mercer, if you will please." Beckett replied smugly and signaling to Mercer. He brought forth a wooden box to his beloved master.

"Sniveling spineless snit." Xio sneered at Mr. Mercer barding her teeth like an angered mountain lion. Beckett took out a paper from the box and handed it over to Governor Swann.

"Here you are the warrant for the arrest of William Turner and the three young ladies who assisted him." The Governor gave the page a fleeting glance and did a double take.

"This warrant is for Elizabeth Swann!" The Governor cried in outrage. Elizabeth's eyes widen.

"Surely not." Chelsea gasped. Xio giggled a bit elbowing Will in the ribs.

"Huh? HUH?" Xio raised her eyebrow with each word.

"Oh, is it? That's annoying, my mistake…" Beckett took the paper back from the Governor and placed it in the wooden box,

"Arrest her."

Soldiers moved forward and grabbed Lizzie.

"No!" Will moved to stop them when the soldiers locked the manacles around Elizabeth small wrists.

"Aha, here's the one for William Turner, Miss Chelsea Scott and Miss Xio Sosa." Beckett rummaged his hand around he wooden box and came up with paper. He handed this over to a shocked Governor Swann.

"And I have another one for a Mr. James Norrington and Miss Alexia Sosa. Are they present?" Beckett shouted flicking the paper high over his head just in case Norrington or Alexia were in the crowd.

"Wonder how he knew our names." Xio whispered to Chelsea. She shrugged.

"May I ask very politely before I start screaming what the charges are against us?" Chelsea questioned.

"Commodore Norrington resigned his commission some months ago." The Governor supplied as he read over the warrant again.

"I don't believe that was the answer to the question I asked." Beckett sneered.

"Mine either!" Chelsea stomped her foot and hit a high note no normal person could have ever dreamed of hitting.

"I recommend you tell us what our charges are or Chelsea will hold that note for the next three minutes." Xio shouted in suggestion over Chelsea's killer note. Beckett eyes twitched but he nodded for Chelsea to stop.

"The charge…is conspiring to set free a man convicted of crimes against the Crown and Empire and condemned to death for which the…" Governor Swann stared open mouthed at the paper unable to continue reading for his daughter's sake.

"For which the punishment, regrettably, is also death." Beckett finished for him, stepping up to Will so they were face to face.

"Perhaps you remember a certain pirate named Jack Sparrow."

"Captain!" The four chorused rather forcefully.

"The wondrous Captain Jack Sparrow." Chelsea nodded daydreaming about his face. Xio had to elbow her hard to get her back to reality or whatever it was they were in.

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Beckett shook his head and smiled arrogantly," Yes, I thought you might."

* * *

So there we are. I hate hate HATE! Lord Cutler Beckett. He's such a pansy. Sometimes people deserve to get numchucked in the face. Ya know what I mean? I think you do.


	3. Coffins and Compass Confusion

Well, well. Looks like Alexia is once again stuck with her all time favorite Captain. But where exactly will she turn up since Jack is stuck in a Turkish prison? I wonder how everyone will feel about her return, especially the Captain.

I'm just telling you guys now that I'm going camping from the 27th of June to the 7th of July in the Colorado Mountains. Good wholesome fun. (NOT) I don't even get to have fireworks on the fourth of July because we might start a forest fire. Damn it to hell.

**DoN't OwN PiRaTeS, DeAd MaN's ChEsT So Cool**

* * *

When Alexia's back finally hit something she yelped in pain. That something had been wooden, hard, and had a bit of an uprising in the middle hitting her right on the spine.

"Oh my stars and stripes I think I might be crippled!" She screamed sitting up and massaging her back tenderly. She inspected what she had landed on and recognized it as a coffin. So she was floating on top of a coffin in the middle of the ocean.

"Terrific!" She cheered sarcastically to herself just as a huge black raven landed in between her legs making everything all the more better. She leaned forward.

"Shoo… go away now." Alexia flicked her hand trying to scare the bird but it continued pecking at the lid of the coffin.

"Fine. Go ahead and get yourself killed." Alexia leaned back and propped herself up on her elbows waiting. After a few seconds of annoying pecking the bird was blown away by a pistol shot from inside the coffin. The bird's body chunks went flying back in the air and landed in the water next to Alexia. She cringed.

"Gag me with a spoon gnarly." Alexia complained but cracked a smile when a hand holding the alleged pistol emerged from the gaping hole in the wood and swung around in surveillance. Alexia waited patiently for the hand to retreat and the hand's owner to break through the flimsy wood and sit up properly.

"Hey there sexy man. What's the hap's?" Jack's eyes almost budged out of his head as he stared at Alexia. She sat up Indian style to face him. The coffin tilted hazardously at her sudden shift of weight.

"Yes. It is me in the flesh!" Alexia stated excitingly throwing her arms out ready for a hug. Jack shook his head at her being there.

"S'not possible." He muttered rummaging around the coffin for his hat.

"Not probable, at best. But I didn't think impossible was a word in your mental dictionary." Alexia leaned forward and took the hat from Jack's grip. He glared at her until he realized she was just reshaping the flattened thing. She placed the hat his head and looked over her work.

"You look good." Jack said with casual caribbean coolness.

"Really?" Alexia asked, elongating the word. She rested her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands.

"Yes. I must 'ave missed yer birthday's. Ya look like a lady now. Yer body has blossomed quite nicely. How old are you again?" Jack asked earning him a death glare and an almost slap to the facial area.

"Would it be too much to ask for you to be a gentleman sometimes?" Alexia sighed using her raised hand to scratch at her ribs.

"Not likely to happen, luv." Jack smiled his gold toothed sexy smile but Alexia was not listening. She was staring in disbelieve at her shirt. Jack noticed this.

"What are you wearin' now?" Jack asked reaching back into the coffin and breaking off the leg of the skeleton beneath him. He began paddling toward the Black Pearl in the distance.

"Oh bloody hell!" Alexia was wearing a white square neckline shirt with thin black and gray stripes, a black vest, white shorts, and black flats.

"And would it also be too much to ask for a change of clothes!" Alexia protested. Jack pulled up next to his ship and stationed the coffin at the bottom of a rope ladder. He then patted Alexia's bare calf.

"There there, luv. I happen to think those clothes flatter you very nicely." Alexia gave Jack a look telling him to shove it.

"Quite." She said scathingly.

"Ladies first!" He offered gesturing to the rope ladder hoping she would take it and not beat him into a pulp. Luckily Alexia grabbed the first rung and heaved herself up.

* * *

When Gibbs held out his hand to help his Captain aboard he was surprised when a smaller more slender hand took his.

"Ahh…Gibbs. Your help is always much appreciated." Alexia thanked him while pulling herself up and onto the deck. Gibbs shook off his stunned disposition and moved forward again to help Jack up but only got a skeleton leg in return. Jack came on deck and stood right behind Alexia with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Not quite according to plan." Gibbs said referring to Alexia's presence and the skeleton leg in his hand.

"Complications arose, ensued, and were overcome." Jack said quickly, steering Alexia towards the helm to stand with him.

"Jack you're doing that thing again." Alexia pointed out.

"What thing?" He asked resting his chin on her shoulder.

"That whole touching thing." Alexia ducked out from underneath Jack and backed away from him with her arms crossed. Gibbs handed the skeletal leg to Cotton and followed the pair.

"You get what you went in for, then." Gibbs asked enthusiastically rubbing his dirty pirate hands together.

"Muhuh." Jack mumbled incomprehensibly, waving around a rolled up piece of cloth like a five year old showing his mummy the pretty picture he had drawn. But when he turned he was stopped by the sight of his peeved and overworked crew.

"Captain, I think the crew-meaning me, as well-were expecting something a bit more…" Gibbs shook his hands at chest level making Alexia eye him carefully, "shiny. What with the Isla de Muerta going all pear-shapes, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it."

"And the Royal Navy chasing you all around the Atlantic." Alexia supplied with a flick of her hand, Jack looking at her wondering how she knew this.

"And the hurricane!" Marty shouted and the crew voiced their agreement.

"You done a lot of bad Jack. Better fix it." Alexia patted his shoulder.

"All in all, it seems some time since we did a speck of honest pirating." Gibbs paused to hear the captain's reply. Jack thought for a moment.

"Shiny?" He asked in a mocking tone.

"Of course, who doesn't love a good shiny thing?" Alexia guessed pulling out her gold chain necklace and medallion.

"Ah…shiny." She toyed with the trinket with a Cheshire cat smile.

"Aye, shiny." Gibbs agreed not seeing the gold Alexia held.

"Is that how you're all feeling, then?" Jack cast a glace around his crew, "Perhaps dear ol' Jack is not serving your best interests as Captain?"

"Unequivocally not." Alexia rolled her eyes.

"And what the bloody hell does that mean little missy?!" Jack pointed a finger directly in Alexia's face but she just smirked.

"Awk, walk the plank." Cotton's parrot cawed but Cotton shut its beak before it could continue. Jack quickly cocked his pistol and aimed at the parrot with the most alarming expression on his face.

"What did that bird say?" He roared. Alexia pulled his arm down and shook her head.

"No." She said slowly for Jack's sake.

"Do not blame the bird." An Arabian pirate said in defense, "Show us, what is on the piece of cloth there.

The crew all stared greedily at the roll of cloth in Jack's hand. The moment was broken, however, when Barbossa's undead monkey dropped down in front of Jack and spat at him. Jack hissed back but not before the monkey took the cloth. Angry, Jack pulled out his pistol, aiming at the damned monkey but found it to be jammed. Alexia stole the pistol right off the pirate next to her, aimed, and shot the scampering monkey. It dropped the cloth and screeched its way back up through the rigging.

"You should know Alexia, that shooting it does no good." Gibbs tried to take the pistol from Alexia but she stowed it in one of her belt loops.

"Says you." Jack nodded in agreement to Alexia's comment. Marty ran over and picked up the unrolled cloth. Everyone held his or her breath.

"It's a key." He announced after much scrutiny, there were sighs of disappointment from the crew. Jack started towards him and took the cloth.

"No, much more better! It is a drawing of a key." Jack revealed the cloth to his crew. There was a troubling silence that made Jack uneasy about the astuteness of his faithful crew.

"Gentlemen, what do keys do?" Jack asked though Alexia was giving him a look that told him she did not expect an intelligent answer.

"Keys…" The Arabian pirate started with much difficulty and uncertainty. Alexia strained with all her willpower not to roll her eyes or laugh at the poor man, it was proving difficult to do, "unlock things?"

"Score one for the idiots of the world." Alexia licked her pointer finger and made a dash in thin air.

"And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable." Gibbs stated and the whole crew went into a frenzy.

"So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!" Gibbs nodded eagerly at his Captain hoping he was right.

"ANNNNNNTTT!!" Alexia slapped her hand down on her other hand making a loud buzzer noise.

"Wrong answer my good sir. I ask now this question. How are we to unlock the thing that need be unlocked when we don't have the key that unlocks it?" Alexia said in an obvious tone tapping her temple with her index finger. If Gibbs did not grasp her overstated hint she would surely throttle him.

"So, we're going after this key!" Gibbs had finally caught on with the plan. Jack leaned forward, giving him look of bewilderment.

"You're not making any sense at all mate." He snapped back into a straight standing posture and addressed the crew.

"Any more questions?" The crew exchanged a few words but had nothing to say to its Captain.

"So…" Marty finally spoke up. "Do we have a heading?"

"Ah!" Jack went for his compass and held it steadily on the palm of his hand.

"A heading. Well, well then let us see. Set sail in a…" Jack followed the compass needle with his finger pointing to five different directions and at Alexia twice before resting on a random point.

"mmm…general…" Jack changed his mind last minute.

"…that way direction!" Jack pointed somewhere to his right. The crew looked out to the sea with a questioning manner.

"Cap'n?" Gibbs asked warily but Jack was already heading towards his cabin.

"Come on. Snap to and make sail, you know how this works." Jack shooed his crew out of his way and beckoned Alexia closer.

"Let us have a drink my dear!" Jack said gleefully putting an arm around Alexia's shoulders. She wrinkled her nose but reluctantly followed him.

"That's getting to be an old look for you luv." Jack ran a finger down her nose but Alexia slapped his hand away.

"I'm not your wench Jack. Now provide me with a pair of trousers and a shirt or I will be forced to shot you in the foot. An injury that will not kill you but aggravate you greatly." Alexia narrowed her eyes at the Captain. He gave her a once over before swinging open the doors to his quarters.

"Not a chance. I like you better this way." Jack gestured to her clothing. Alexia sighed in defeat but began slapping Jack. He put up his arms defensibly.

"Hey! Quit it! Don't play with me luv or I WILL throw you overboard. OUCH! Quit it!" Jack whined as Alexia kept delivering blows.

"As If, Captain. Not until I get my trousers!" She stuck her tongue out at Jack and ran past him, into his cabin. The door to his private bedroom was open so she went straight in and began ransacking his drawers.

"Stop right there! Luv please stop, yer messing up me system!"

* * *

Oooo trousers is a funny word. Anyhoo. Enjoy the first three chapters while I camping in the mountains. Suck-e-roonies. Read and Review PLEASE!! It's what I live for. That and wild berry crumb cake muffins from Starbucks with a strawberry and crème. Mmmm. My kryptonite.


	4. Schnapps Anyone?

YAY! I HAVE RETURNED!

Okay now that I've gotten that out of the way on to the story. In this chapter we find the gang stuck in the brig awaiting the call from Lord Cutler Beckett. As Xio and Chelsea decide who will stay with Elizabeth and go with Will something strange happens. Under certain circumstances that I cannot explain yet, a marten frees them with its magical ring of keys. Very creepy huh?

**Do NoT OwN PiRaTeS Of ThE CaRiBbEaN DeAd MaN's ChEsT!**

* * *

Meanwhile in the brig Chelsea, Elizabeth, Xio, and Will sat quietly awaiting their fate. Xio and Chelsea were playing their favorite childhood hand game, Slide, as Elizabeth sat with her arms crossed glaring daggers at Will. He cleared his throat nervously.

"So Xio, how come you and Chelsea have returned?" Will asked sounding like he genuinely wanting to know the answer but really digging to see if Alexia had returned as well.

"We probably returned since you were toying with that there DVD remote." Xio responded never looking away from her game. She and Chelsea had made it up to twenty three and were not about to mess up. Elizabeth shot Will another look.

"You mean that stupid thing you've been carrying around with you everywhere we went together!" Elizabeth shouted in outrage then narrowed her eyes at Will.

"You still like her don't you? After all this TIME!?" Elizabeth questioned, luckily a soldier came down the steps just in time to save poor Will.

"You and Miss Sosa are to come with me." The soldier addressed Will but Xio glared at the soldier.

"Busy!" She hissed but with her minor distraction she messed up on the fifteenth hand slap. Chelsea sighed in frustration and pointed a shaking finger at the soldier like the closet monkey from Family Guy. He backed away slightly.

"Damn it!" Xio cursed loudly, allowing Will to help her to her feet.

"Ooo! Get me a drink while you're there. I'm parched." Chelsea winked at Xio as the soldier clapped irons on her wrists. Xio nodded.

"I'll see what they have." Xio promised. She and Will were escorted out of the prison.

Chelsea turned to Elizabeth and looked her straight in the eye.

"Alright." Chelsea sighed preparing herself for bombardment.

"What is it you want to complain about?" Chelsea bunkered down onto the bench inside their cell patting the seat next to her. Elizabeth quickly moved to her side.

"You don't mind?" She asked eager to lay all her misery on someone.

"Have I got a choice? It's what friends do." Chelsea said with a shrug and gestured for Elizabeth to continue.

"From the beginning then."

* * *

Xio and Will were led into Beckett's office by their shackled hands. Xio was humming quietly, occasionally kicking the soldier leading them in the back of the knee.

"Camp town lady smoke that bong, do da! Do da! Camp town hits are ten miles long all the do da day!" Xio sang improvising most of the words since she could not remember how the song went. The soldier glared at her.

"Lord Beckett, here are the prisoners you ordered, sir." Beckett turned from his papers that he was so interested in and looked up at his prisoners. Xio rolled her eyes at the condescending idiot.

"He makes it sounds like we're take out or something." She whispered to Will, he gave her a questioning look.

"Take out, what's that?"

"Oooooohhh riiiiiiiggggghhhtttt." She drew out the two words longer than necessary, putting her pointer finger to her nose and then pointing to Will.

"Those won't be necessary." Beckett gestured to the chains and the soldiers whipped out a key to undo the shackles.

"Those hurt like a bitchnezz." She complained rubbing her sore wrists. Beckett moved to his little table of schnapps and poured some into two glasses.

"The East India Trading Company has need of your services." Beckett offered Will a glass of liquor but he gave him a dirty look until Beckett placed the glass back on the table. Xio rummaged through the schnapps supply looking for something suitable for Chelsea to drink.

"We wish for you to act as our agent in a business transaction with our mutual friend- Captain Sparrow."

"More acquaintance than friend. How do you know him?" Will asked suspiciously eyeing Beckett.

"We've had dealings in the past." Beckett walked toward the fireplace and held up a red-hot brand with a P on the end.

"And we've each left our mark on the other." He examined the brand with an interested expression while Will shook his head in confusion.

"What mark did he leave on you?" He questioned but Beckett ignored his inquiry and placed the brand back in the fire. There was a clattering and a crash from the drinking table as Xio knocked over four bottles of very strong smelling liquor. She smiled innocently and grabbed a bottle of rum.

"Was this before or after Jack worked for the East India Trading Company and let free that ship of slaves? Cause I know that is _le_ fact." Xio said in a bit of a French accent whilst taking a sip of rum.

"Excellent, want a sip?" She asked Will, nodding in satisfaction to the drinks taste. Beckett's head snapped up and turned to face her.

"How do you know that?" He shouted before regaining his composure, Xio smirked like a great smirking thing.

"I read about it in Alexia's POTC book. The secret files of the East India Trading Company by… oh god what's his name, Sir Thomas Faye? But anyways, I was never sure it was true, till now that is." Xio half shrugged trying to fit the rum bottle into her pants pocket. She ignored the looks Beckett and Will were giving her.

"He didn't obey a direct order and was marked a pirate. That's all?" Will asked in a disbelieving tone but Beckett shook shoulders and changed the subject.

"By your efforts, Jack Sparrow was set free. I would like you to go to him and recover a certain property in his possession." As Beckett put down his drink Xio pounced on the glass and filled it to the brim with a mixture of whiskey and vodka. Will watched her carefully.

"Recover. At the point of a sword?" Will asked smugly following Beckett to his desk.

"A bargain." Beckett clarified, reaching into his wooden box with the East India Trading Company insignia. He revealed a leather case with sheets of paper clipped inside.

"Letters of Marque."

"QUE?" Xio shouted putting a hand to her ear and leaning toward Beckett.

"Yes well…you will offer what amounts to a full pardon- Jack will be free, a privateer in the employment of England." Beckett was reviewing the Letter of Marque when Xio and Will shared a look.

"I double doubt Jack will consider employment the same as being free. I mean when you're free there's no having to listen to you or obey your orders." Xio snickered as Beckett took a sip of his drink and gagged.

"Freedom." Beckett coughed putting his papers back into their safety box and walked out onto the balcony. Xio nodded for Will to follow him.

"Jack Sparrow is a dying breed. The world is shrinking. The blank edges of the map filled in. Jack must find his place in the New World or perish." Beckett turned to face Will and lean on the balcony railing. Xio rolled her eyes and reached for the wooden box.

"Not unlike you, Mr. Turner. You, Ms. Swann, and the other young ladies face the hangman's noose." Beckett bowed his head.

"Alexia." Will whispered his eyes wide in realization. Xio readjusted her bra and shirt.

"So you just want the compass for the deal to work?" Xio asked just to make sure of the plan.

"Yes, I believe so." Beckett said patting his white wig.

"Alrighty then!" Xio grabbed Will's hand and raced out of Beckett's office. The soldier held up his musket looking to Beckett for an order to go after them.

"Wait I… but you can't just... fine then GO!" Beckett shouted throwing his glass at the wall in anger and accidentally hitting the painter working of his wall mural.

* * *

After letting Elizabeth talk about her problems with Will for all of two minutes Chelsea cut her off and began talking about her new boyfriend, Justin.

"But as I was saying Justin is so cute. He's got fabby eyes, kinda the color of sea glass, and has his own truck with big wheels. It's good to go muddin' in and it's so much fun! He might be a redneck but he is soooooo nice." Chelsea blabbered on as Elizabeth sat with her head in her hands, dozing a bit.

"Chelsea would you kindly shut up!" Elizabeth lifted her head and glared at Chelsea. She jumped at Elizabeth's bluntness.

"WHY?" She snarled.

"Because I've lost my love and you can't stop talking about how GREAT it is that you have this GREAT boyfriend and are in a GREAT relationship. It's sickening." Elizabeth sounded completely miserable. Chelsea put up her hands.

"Sooooorrrrrrrrrrrryyyy Debbie downer. I totally forgot. Fine then." Chelsea she said inconsiderately, rubbing her nose.

"But did I mention his eyes?"

Elizabeth's head snapped up as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Chelsea turned to the see Xio rushing down them and launched herself at the bars, reaching for Xio.

"Did you get me anything? Please say you DID!" Chelsea whined so Xio held out a half empty rum bottle.

"Got thirsty on the way here." She shrugged as Will caught up with her.

"All right?" He nodded to Elizabeth but she crossed her arms and ignored him.

"Are you going to stay with Elizabeth then?" Xio asked and Chelsea gave her a look.

"Does it look like I have much of a choice?" Chelsea asked sarcastically putting the rum bottle to her lips and taking a good swig. Just then something flew across the floor of the cell. Chelsea spat out her rum and jumped onto the bench Elizabeth was sitting on.

"EWWW!! Rat! Kill it, KILL IT! GROSS!" Chelsea screeched jumping from foot to foot on her tiptoes and flapping her hands about. Xio bent down and grabbed the rodent around the middle. She held it up so everyone could see.

"It's just a marten Chelsea. Quit your fussing." Xio noticed a small key hanging on the marten's collar. She cradled the thing in her arms and took the key.

"Why does it have a key?" Will asked as Xio stared at said key. She tilted her head to the side.

"I don't know but I think it goes to the…" Xio leaned forward and tried the key in the lock on the door of the cell. After a small jiggle the door sprung open. Chelsea and Elizabeth gaped at the now open door.

"What the…what the hell was that?" Chelsea yelled inspecting the door.

"Well the dog with the keys is with Ragetti and Pintel so I guess they hired a marten for a replacement." Xio offered. The marten then yanked the key out of Xio's hand and jumped down from her arms. It gave her a small thumbs up before slinking away. Will looked to the marten, then the cell door, then Xio before putting a hand to his head.

"Trying to make sense of this is giving me a headache." Chelsea dragged Elizabeth up and out of the cell.

"We got sucked into a popular pirate movie because of our DVD player. Not even a key bearing marten can be weirder than that." She said dismissively and everyone nodded. Xio handed her the leather case holding the Letters of Marque.

"Here take these and go get Beckett's signature. We'll meet you in Tortuga okay?" Chelsea put her hand up in a salute.

"How did you get those??" Will asked pointing to the leather case. Chelsea and Xio gave him a look.

"Super Ninja skills. DUH!" Xio said in an obvious tone and Chelsea rolled her eyes.

"I'll make it _happen, captain_!" She saluted before turning to Elizabeth.

"Know were we can find any decent trousers at this time of day?" Chelsea asked.

* * *

Ahhhh…the trouser bit again. A classic. I love a good pants joke. Like putting pants into a song titles such as "The hills are alive with the sound of PANTS" or "I am sixteen going on PANTS". Such a laugh. Anyhoo review please.


	5. Davy Sends His Love, And His Kraken

And we go back to the Black Pearl where Jack realizes that Alexia is having an affect on his compass and not even she can get the stupid compass to work for herself. Of course it doesn't matter when Alexia has visit from a mysterious person while Jack goes below for his rum. This person claims to know why she, Xio, and Chelsea came to be in the movie and knows how to run the show. And Alexia is _Very Interested_.

**I do not, for the life of me, own Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest**

* * *

On the Black Pearl Jack sat at his desk trying to chart a course to the key in the cloth drawing, resting in his lap. Alexia, however, was lounging on a squat bookcase to his left. She had found a somewhat interesting book and was quietly reading.

"How's that bruise on yer back, luv?" Jack asked trying to make conversation. He usually did not have too work hard to make the young lass start talking. Alexia half shrugged.

"I couldn't get a good look at it but it was kinda shaped like Kentucky." She flipped another page in her book. Jack rested his head on his hand and watched Alexia. Her hair was shorter and curlier now but it suited her.

"Shouldn't you be trying to find out where Davy Jones' key is?" Alexia asked, never looking up from her book and smiling at the shocked expression on Jack's face.

"Well… yes but I was… I was just doing that." Jack turned forward in his chair and went back to tapping his compass. It was refusing to give him a heading, it just pointed to the girl now snickering at him from behind her book. Jack sighed in frustration.

"Should we call the manufacturer and ask for a replacement? Have you got the number?" Alexia asked sarcastically. Jack mumbled something and grabbed for his rum. When he brought the rum bottle to his lips and was disappointed to find it empty.

"Why is the rum always gone?" Jack griped. Alexia had to guess he was asking the almighty rum gods.

"I'd said its cause you're always so damn drunk all the time." She replied smugly, gesturing for Jack to hand her the compass. He was sure he liked it better when she was quietly reading her book.

"Do you mind if I see it?"

Jack handed Alexia the compass since it had been pointing at her for the past hour. Maybe she would have better luck at finding the key and the chest. Alexia closed her eyes and held the compass tightly.

"Okay." She flipped open the compass and looked down. The compass needle spun round and round without showing any sign of stopping. When Jack was finally able to get up on unsteady legs, he went to stand in front of Alexia

"Have you got it then?" He asked excitingly. Alexia bit her lip in deep thought before shutting the compass and holding it out to its owner. Jack took the compass slowly.

"Sorry I got nothin'." Alexia picked up her book and scanned the page, trying to find her place. Jack gave her a look.

"How long has you're compass not been working as it should?" She asked changing the subject.

"Quite awhile, now." He admitted knowing she should wear him down until he told her the truth. Alexia closed her book and jumped down from her hidey-hole.

"May I ask why?" She inquired politely.

"Why do ya want te know?" Jack questioned but Alexia just shrugged.

"It is just a question Jack. If you don't want to answer it than you don't have to, I guess…" Alexia crossed her arms and walked toward one of his many bookcases, running a finger across the dust covered books. Jack stood, stroking his beard, check the young lady's profile. He noticed she had grown a few inches taller, her hair even more curly and unruly as possible but something had changed in the way she carried her self. The way her eyes flashed mischievously when she looked towards him or the way she bit her lip making Jack want to maul her right then and...

"Hey? Are you checking me out? You haven't changed much, you are such a perv. And to think I kinda missed be here." Alexia turned slightly to raise her eyebrows at Jack, who had flinched when she had totally called him out. She wrinkled her nose; Jack had to be at least ten or more years older than her.

"Ya know yer in a room. Alone. With a dangerous pirate?" He asked coming up right behind her, his breath on her neck. She went "Haaaahahahaaaa" to show she did not think of Jack as much of a threat. Instead she placed the book she had borrowed back on its shelf.

"Yer not afraid of me takin' advantage of you? Right here, right now?" He asked is a horse whisper pressing her into the wall of his cabin. This time Alexia went with her annoying tinkling laughter and abrupt silence.

"Listen Jack. I have a gun and a dagger all hidden on my person. What do I have to be afraid of?" She narrowed her eyes at him, unimpressed.

"Because, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. And I get anything and _anyone_ I want." He leaned in closer with every sentence. His lips were only centimeters away from Alexia's.

"Yeah uh, _Captain_." She said with a certain air of mockery.

"You should probably stop using that whole _Captain Jack Sparrow _business as an excuse for everything you do. It's starting to be cliché." Alexia moved to walk away but Jack blocked her way by putting a hand on the wall, on either side of her head. She turned and gave Jack a look before sucking her teeth. She weighted her options and decided on action. Alexia whipped out her dagger and held it steadily to Jack neck.

"Awwww, so very close hmm Jack? I'd say you'd better back up there Casanova. You're not the new Fabio so scoot." Alexia backed Jack away from herself by pushing her weapon deeper into the flesh of his neck. Jack winced but complied. Once at a reasonable distance Alexia put away her dagger while Jack stared, shocked, at the young lady who had bested him.

"You'll come around." Jack said but Alexia gave him her best Wrath of God and Doom on You look.

"They all do." She snorted.

"Chaaaaaaright, I'm not apart of the norm Jack." Alexia said crossing her arms.

"Well then..." Jack seemed to lose a bit of steam before his smile widened, "I do love a good challenge."

Jack took his hat off the globe beside him and walked towards the door.

"I'd loved to see you try." Alexia gave him a wicked smile as Jack closed the door. She then went to sit in the Captain's chair. Once comfortable she thought over the overall cockiness of Jack's being. Even if he was sexy and worshiped by girls around the world, including herself, didn't give him the right to think he was hot stuff. He would pay for his mega ego problem. And what of the compass? Why was in spinning?

"What is going on?" She asked her holy lord and savoir, resting her head on the back of her chair.

"Having fun are we?" A voice asked and Alexia's head snapped up.

"Who are you?" She asked leaping up from her chair and backing up into the bookcase behind her. A man wearing a rumpled white lab coat and stroking a marten came out from Jack's private bedroom. He had short-ish red hair, freckles, and glasses. He looked a bit like a Weasley Twins only older. Alexia already had her pistol aimed his forehead.

"My name is Stanley and you, your friend, and your sister are currently apart of my new invention!" Alexia stared at the man in disbelief, her head tilted to one side. She lower the pistol, ever so slightly.

"What?"

* * *

Alexia paced the stretch of floor in front of the chair she had vacated and pushed Stanley into. He sat with his legs crossed, stroking his marten like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.

"So you're saying that this whole thing," Alexia gestured to the room around her, "is all part of an invention you made?"

She asked holding out her hand for an answer. None this was really making any sense, then again neither did most of the things in her real life. Stan the Man, as he liked to be called, nodded.

"Yep, my new invention that would have made me millions if the government hadn't stopped my funding. Just because they thought it was frivolous and stupid." He grumbled quietly scratching the marten behind its ear.

"Could you just forget about the government for one friggin' sec and tell me how this is happening please!" Alexia sighed angrily, all her words running into each other.

"Fine. Well I had this idea. What if you could enjoy your movie from the set rather than just watching them, right? Being in the movie with the characters. People would have paid anything to actually be apart of the action. So I made a proto type and sent it in. That's where you and your friends come in."

"Pardon?"

"You got the DVD player accidentally on purpose." Stan clarified and Alexia "ohhed" understandingly.

"You girls were my experiment. But of course the government shut me down before I could observe the adventure, so I had to start up again on my own. Luckily someone activated the control and you were sucked back into the movie." Stan rummaged through his pockets before holding up a remote control.

"What's that for?" Alexia asked pointing to the remote.

"This is what runs the show. It controls the characters, actions, and other things." Stan put the remote away as something dawned on Alexia's face.

"So the DVD remote controls everything…of course. That's why I had it last time. Well DUH! Way to go Alexia." She said to herself, nodding her head and tapping a finger on her chin.

"Yes well. The problem now is… do you have the remote?"

Alexia froze.

"Uhh... no. I don't sorry. Can't you just give me that one?" She asked hopefully. Stan stared at her and stood up from his chair. Alexia noticed the marten had a ring of keys in its mouth. Odd.

"Of course not! That remote is the only remote that works with your DVD player. It is essential. I can't believe you lost it! It is what's keeping you in this magically world!" Stan held up his hands and spun around making Alexia laugh. He readjusted his glasses and frowned at Alexia. She stopped laughing and dropped her eyes to the floor.

"I really am sorry. I didn't realize I had lost the remote on my last adventure." Alexia gave Stand her best kicked puppy look. Stan smiled and patted her shoulder.

"That's okay." He then turned to Jack's room again.

"Wait!" She grabbed Stan's arm to stop him. "Where are you going?"

"Well I have to get back to my time and see if I can locate the remote you don't have."

Alexia smiled nervously.

"but… just in case." Stan strapped a wristwatch on Alexia's wrist. She gave him a look. The watches screen was huge and the definition of gaudy. It sort of reminded Alexia of a snow globe, expect it was tapped to her wrist.

"What's this for?" She held up her snow globe hand with raised eyebrows.

"It can do anything and it'll keep us in touch. So I can tell you where the remote is, what's going on in the world, if Zac Efron will accept the offer to play in the next Pirates Movie, that sort of stuff. Oh, and if you check the documents menu I put in the coordinates to the cannibal island." Stan pointed to the watch's screen and menu box popped up. After scrolling through some random documents he finally pulled up the coordinates.

"There you are." Alexia squinted down at the tiny font.

"You can also project it on smooth surfaces Like so." He angled the watch at a wall and hit another button on the side panel. Suddenly the document appeared on the wall.

"All I need now is a pair of sunglasses and a slow motion entrance. Just call me double o seven." Alexia said excitingly but when she looked up Stan the Man was gone. That's when she heard Jack running up the stairs, yelling frantically to his slumbering crew.

"On deck all hands! Make fast the bunt gasket! On deck! Scurry! Scurry on! Move it! Move it! I WANT MOVEMENT." Alexia quickly scribbled down the coordinates on a piece of parchment paper and collapsed the projection.

"Jack!" She threw open the French doors and was met by the scene of the crew, half clothed, running around like chickens with their heads chopped off.

"What utter chaos." Alexia shook her head and searched the deck for Jack. He came running up to her with a panicked expression. The crew looked to their shaken Captain uncertainly. Alexia shifted her eyes.

"Uhhh...You heard him!" She growled, "All on deck! Run! And keep running! Run as if the devil himself and itself is upon us!"

The crew went back to untying sails as Alexia grabbed Jack's hand.

"Holy Mother of god!" She gasped staring at Jack's hand in hers. She gagged while snatching a strip of cloth off a nearby crew member and wrapping it tightly around Jack's hand, just to get the blacken sore out of sight. Jack pulled his hand back when she was done.

"You okay?" He asked concerned. Alexia nodded, holding a hand over her mouth.

"Yeah, I just threw up a little in my mouth."

"Anyways, the black spot! He'll send the kraken next. We need to find land fast! Faster than a speeding bullet, at least. That is if we want to live long enough to see the next sunrise." Alexia freaked, gripping Jack's shoulders and shaking him as Gibbs ran up to their party.

"Do we have a heading?" He asked Alexia, since Jack was currently trying to hide underneath her hair. She nodded.

"Yes. I know an island and I have its coordinates. If you will help me I can find it." She handed the piece of parchment paper to Gibbs. He took it quickly.

"I'll find the island. You calm him down and, for the love of Mother and Child, see if you can figure out what's coming after us." Gibbs glanced over at Jack, now standing stock still under the stairs. He shook his head before walking off. Alexia sighed turning to Jack.

"Jack…" Alexia outstretched her hand toward him slowly as not to scare him off, "I need your hat okay. If I throw it overboard it will give us more time to get to land safely. And if you don't I'll take it with force as I, will not be dieing because you love this ship in a really inappropriate way."

Alexia smiled and nodded for him the hand over his hat. Jack ripped the hat off his head and practically threw it at her.

"Okay, okay!" He nodded eagerly but cursed violently when Alexia tossed the hat overboard.

"Sorry Jack. I know you love that hat." She patted his arm.

"Jack's hat!" Marty yelled from his place up in the rigging. He was pointing at the black tricorn bobbing on the water right beside the Pearl, "Bring her about!"

"Leave it Marty or you'll be next. I want movement!" Jack snarled, pushing Alexia aside to address the crew member. The rest of the crew stopped working at gave Jack a funny look.

"Back to your station, the lot of ya!" Gibbs shouted coming out from the Captain's Quarters. Once he was sure all of the crew had gone back to work he turned to Alexia.

"I found the island on the map. It's not too far away, from my calculations anyway." Jack squealed with delight. Gibbs and Alexia shared a scared look for what was left of the Captains sanity.

"I'll help you steer, Gibbs." Alexia offered backing away from Mr. Crazy and scampering up the stairs to the helm. Gibbs was hot on her heels.

"Right Miss Alexia!"

"Wait, I don't want to be alone!" Jack screamed running up the stairs and attaching himself to Alexia's side by hugging her forcibly and not letting go.

"Oh, what fresh hell?" She complained patting Jack's shoulder and shaking her head in embarrassment for his behavior.

* * *

I like the Stan the Man part and who knew Jack was such an über spazz? (Yes, I just used the word über. Got a problem with that? It's the only thing to describe his behavior.) Now…where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself? Oh yes… I like blaming the government for things. For funzzies, of course, not for real. Review and many thanks be with you and your family.


	6. You Just Gotta Speak Their Language

The cannibal island is, and always will be, my fav of all the scenes in this movie. Well now that the Pearl is safe from the harmful kraken Jack decides to explore. Alexia nods and smiles but opts to stay onboard, for very good reason. So she waits to join up with Xio and Will and isn't he just so pleased to see her?

**I Don't Pirates Of The Caribbean: DMC and I'm very sad about it.**

* * *

After the Black Pearl had beached its self on the shore of Cannibal Island Jack set out to put together a shore party. Alexia sat on the railing as some of the crew jumped down to secure the Pearl. They were armed with big hammers and pegs to anchor the ship with.

"Ahh…" Jack took a deep breath "what a beautiful day for exploring. What say we take a walk gents?"

"Yeah, if you like being eaten alive. Well technically they roast you alive first but still it's the thought that counts." Alexia said nonchalantly, yo-yoing over the side of the Pearl. She had called Stan and thanks to his time traveling Marten she now had her favorite childhood yo-yo that lit up and made whirling noises. Jack gave her a look.

"What are you talking about luv?" He inquired but Alexia just smiled and blinked really slowly.

"So who's coming with? We'll of course need someone to watch over the ship so…" Jack searched the crowd for a raised hand but the crew was eager to get off the ship for a while. Alexia glanced around before raising her hand.

"I'll stay." She offered but Jack frowned.

"I was hoping we could walk together, there was this really nice meadow I spotted on our way in." He said sadly his bottom lip jutting out a foot.

"Oh please. You were hoping for more than a little amble in the woods. What would you have called it? _To ravish me within an inch of my death._" Alexia said in her best Jack voice. It sounded pretty realistic. Jack crossed his arm and exhaled angrily like a bull. Alexia could almost see those little smoke rings floating lazily through the air.

"Fine I didn't want you to come anyways." He huffed. Alexia jumped down from the railing and stood before Jack, eyebrow raised and at the ready.

"Yah right. We all know your traveling on that Egyptian river. You love me, you want me, and you can't have me." Alexia said in sing-songy voice, accompanied by a shimmy and a smug smile. The entire crew now stopped the watch twos clash of the Titans. On one side there was their strong and fateful Captain and on the other a spirited young lass who took names and kicked ass.

"No I don't. I want nothing to do with you." Jack argued. Alexia leaned forward and gave Jack a sickly heartbreaking smile.

"Come here sexy beastie." She beckoned seductively, licking her lips. When Jack leaned forward and reached for her Alexia leapt back punching the air triumphantly.

"HA! Told ya!" Alexia said with her arms up in the classic "WHAT?" pose. There was a buzz of hushed conversation and the occasional snicker.

"Damn it." Jack cursed turning on a heel and climbing down the side of his ship, his crew following him like a litter of sick puppies. Alexia ran to the railing and waved them off. She had show Jack up in front of his whole crew and she knew he would never let her live it down.

"Hahahahaaaaa." Alexia laughed at the thought of Jack trying to get even. She just took out her yo-yo again and tried for a Cat's Cradle.

* * *

"Where should we look first?" Will asked Xio as they climbed off a rickety ship that had managed to stay afloat long enough to drop them off at Tortuga.

"Depends. We're looking for a black dude with dreads. He's a shrimper and he'll know where the Pearl is. So I'd say the docks." Xio searched the surrounding docks for said person. Will gave her a sideways glance.

"Why are we looking for a black man with dreads, who's a shrimper?" He asked chewing on the inside of his cheek. Xio grabbed his hand and led him to the opposite dock, where she had spotted the man chatting with a crew member.

"Because I said so and stop that!" Xio slapped Will cheek, "That is a gross, disgusting habit that you need to break."

Will gave her a weak glare, she laughed.

"You need to work on that too, you couldn't scare a goat stiff with an umbrella. Anyhoo, we could start by asking everyone you want to. Let's see. I guess we'd start with the weather sailor who thinks Jack is dead and owes him four dubloons, then that half blind sailor who will say "sure as the tide Jack Sparrow will turn up in Singapore" which he won't, and then there are the two whores Jack hangs with, Giselle and Scarlett which believe me! I'm saving you from a slap to the facial area bubby boy." Xio ranted and then pushed Will forward to man sitting on some boxes and mending his shrimping nets. Will looked back at Xio. She nodded for him to approach the shrimper.

"I haven't got all day." She sighed angrily tapping her wrist where a watch would have been if she owned one.

"Excuse me sir. I was told you might know where to find Jack Sparrow." Will said in that gentlemen-y voice of his. Xio shifted her focus to the cargo being loaded aboard the out dated fishing vessel, which summed up to a bunch of bananas and a white goat with brown spots.

"Can't say about Jack Sparrow, but this island just south of the straits where I trade spice for…delicious long pork." The sailor licked his lips in remembrance to the long pork. Xio had the snap her fingers in his face to get him back.

"Cannot say about Jack. But you'll find that ship there. A ship with black sails." The sailor reassured. Will turned to Xio.

"We've got him!"

* * *

Will stood by the shrimper on his dinky fishing vessel. Xio sat on a goat, christened Daisy, beside them feeding Daisy a carrot she had found in the hull and scratching her behind the ear.

"You are adorable. I wish I could keep you!" Xio cooed patting the goat on her head. The goat baaed in approval. The shrimper was peering through his spyglass to make sure the Pearl had not left the island left.

"My brother will take you two ashore." The shrimper shut his spyglass and turned to Will.

"Thank you for this." Will thanked the man gratefully by taking one of the man's hands in both of his and shaking vigorously.

"How much for the goat?" Xio asked curiously. The man gave her an odd look.

"Tis nothin' but an animal Miss. Why do you want it?" He asked baffled at the young ladies request.

"Cause _SHE _is cute as a button and I want her." Xio gave the man a dazzling smile which could have passed as sinister as well.

"I'd say… three dubloons for it." The man mulled the price over in his head while Xio laughed.

"Of course kind sir." She leaned in towards Will.

"Have you got three dubloons you could lend me?" She asked with her grade A puppy dog pout fully equipped with trembling bottom lip and glassy eyes. Will broke down and handed her the money.

"Thank you." Xio said sweetly passing the money to the man.

"Now get that goat loaded onto the longboat. She's coming with me!"

* * *

The shrimper's brother rowing the two and their new goat to shore did so quietly and mumbling to himself. Xio and Daisy shared a look.

"He's two eggs short of a crepe, if you know what I mean." Xio commented, leaning back in her seat. Amazingly Daisy nodded as if she understood. When the brother-man stopped rowing their longboat Xio glared at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked reaching over Daisy and taking Will's pistol secretly. Will looked at the man, puzzled as well as to why he had stopped.

"What's wrong, the beach is right there?" He gestured to the beach over his shoulder.

"Ne bougeais pas, c'set beaucoup trop dangereaux." He babbled on in what Xio thought was French.

"What?" Will asked trying to understand the man but Xio pulled her pistol out and pointed it directly in his face.

"Keep going." She growled. The brother had no choice but to continue rowing all the way the beach, even though the waves threatened to tip their boat. When Will and Xio climbed off the boat, Daisy in tow, the brother pushed off.

"Bon voyage, monsieur." He nodded to Will and gave Xio an ugly look. Xio flipped him a universal hand sign before turning to the Pearl.

"Let's see if we can find Jack, or Alexia. Maybe she stayed behind." Xio thought aloud, unaware that she was scratching Daisy behind her ear again. Will almost had a heart attack.

"Alexia's here!?" He asked gaping at Xio. He got his answer when he caught sight of Alexia swinging towards him on a rope from the Pearl.

"Banzai!" She laughed before she let go of her rope and went flying into Will. She hit him square in the chest, knocking him off his feet and back onto the sand.

"Gnarly wipe out dude." Alexia beamed down at him from her seat on his waist.

"Will! I've missed you like you wouldn't believe!" Alexia squealed bending down and crushing Will with one of her bear hugs.

"Alexia was that really necessary?" Xio asked walking up crossing her arms and shaking at her head. Alexia sat up back on her haunches and gave her sister a look.

"Is anything I _ever_ do really necessary?" She asked rolling her eyes and getting up. She offered Will her hand. He was smiling like a fool and had a blush that turned his whole face bright pinkish red.

"Oh I get it. You're just jealous cause you didn't get one. Come here you wonderful sister you!" Alexia reached out her arms to hug Xio but she backed away.

"No, I'm good thanks!" She said but Alexia did not stop advancing on her.

"Look I got a goat." Xio said pointing the goat hoping it would distract Alexia from her hugged regime. She sighed happily when Alexia "oooed!" and went off to pet the goat.

"Awww, bitchin'. Xio this is so rad! You are so cute. Look at your eyes. They're so big. Yes they are. _Yes they are!_" Alexia said in baby talk, Daisy shrugged and enjoyed her petting.

"Come on. We'll put her on the ship and then go and find Jack. He and the crew went for an amble in the woods."

After securing Daisy to the Pearl's mast with a rope leash Will and Xio followed Alexia into the jungle.

"They went this a way." Alexia explained marching like a soldier from Swan Lake. Will walking closely beside her, still smiling. He was the first to notice Cotton's parrot.

"Ah, another familiar face." Will walked up to the parrot while Xio grabbed Alexia's arm and pulled her back.

"Watch it Xio. I just got that arm the way I like it, attached to my body." She complained but the look on Xio's face told her the stop.

"What have I done now? Because if this is about that time Chelsea and I stole that set of plastic lawn deer cause we totally put them back before Mrs. Finch even saw they was missing." She asked in a bored tone, dusting off her white shorts. Xio rolled her eyes at those days of childish lawn ornament snatching.

"No this is about how Will called off his wedding because he still likes you." Xio whispered persistently. Alexia's jaw dropped open.

"You gotta be joshin' me Xio. No flippin' way he did that!" She exclaimed over-dramatically. Both girls turned when they heard the snapping of tree limbs and Will shouting from some point beyond them.

"Help!"

Alexia and Xio raced forward to find Will hanging upside down from a rope tied around his foot. Xio slapped a hand to her head.

"God Will! Rule No. 1. Never leave our side!" Xio yelled as the cannibal's surrounded them. Will pulled out his sword and started swing it to hit the cannibals wooden spears.

"Jesus Christ! Don't be a kook Will you almost had my head off. Shoot that thing already!" Alexia shouted to the cannibal with the dart blower. She and Xio crouched down so the cannibal had a perfect shot of Will's neck. Once the poison dart was embedded into his flesh his body fell limp. Xio and Alexia cheered but stopped when the cannibals turned to them.

"What a dweed." Alexia sighed.

"Uhh… we are here for cheifie wefie." Xio tried but the cannibals just stared at her.

"Alexia." Xio whined nervously hiding behind her sister as the cannibals advanced on them, "you're up."

"Alright. Alexia and Xio." Alexia gestured to herself and Xio, a cannibal nodded.

"Hen tu." He said.

"Wekie seekie un chief, god! Un chief hen tu fai fai." Alexia said as clearly as if she were speaking English. Xio looked from her to the cannibal she was addressing. He rubbed his chin and nodded.

"Chief god hen ouh fai fai. Jah heed." The cannibal beckoned the girls to follow him. Alexia smiled and dragged a stunned Xio along with her.

"How did you do that?" She asked, very impressed by her sister but Alexia shrugged.

"You just gotta speak their language." She said breezily. Xio nodded.

"Mmhmm. Mmhmm. You had no idea what you were talking about, did you?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Haven't the foggiest." Alexia shook her head trailing behind the cannibals who were currently tying a very unconscious Will to a roasting stick, a bit like a side of meat really.

* * *

"Kali kali ten dah dah!" The lead canninbal announced to his Chief, which was Jack with even more crazy make up on, as the group trooped into the villiage. Alexia punched Will in the leg to wake him up.

"Tough love." Xio snickered and Alexia punched her in the leg too so it went dead. Xio wobbled for a minute before toppling over.

"Jack?" Will asked still groggy from the dart.

"Yes it's Jack." Xio struggled to keep balance with her dead leg; she had to hold onto Alexia shoulder to stand. Jack rose from his chair and poked Will's shoulder.

"Pah se ko?" Jack addressed the cannibal dubbed ko.

"Teen dada, eeseetis." The village agreed with ko.

"Eeseetis."

"Pah se?" Jack asked nodding toward the two girls.

"Thes seekie chief fo ouh fai fai. Tu fai fai chief god. Thes seekie tu."Ko nodded though Jack did not seem to understand.

"Kele lam. Nom piki piki, nom minsi winsi." Will stared at Jack in a confused manner until he approached his backside. Alexia made loud retching noises while Xio laughed uncontrollably.

"They are so gay sometimes." Alexia snorted and set Xio off again.

"Lam seisei, eunichi. Snip snip." Jack mimed scissors for effect and the cannibals all ahhed with understanding.

"Eunichi." They all nodded. As Jack walked back to his throne Will noticed his compass swing from his belt.

"Jack, the compass, it's all I need. We were all arrested for trying to help you. We face the gallows. The girls included!" Will shouted desperately. Jack stopped in his tracks and glanced over at Alexia. She was laughing at Xio's impression of Sean Connery.

"I am Sean Connery and I approve my friend Bear Grills' show because we both know how to stand the cold. I was here for the ice age you know. And you used to have to walk barefoot in the snow for miles. But I did it because I liked the pain." Xio said in a British accent and stroking her fake mustache she had made by gathering her hair into pig tails and tying them over her upper lip. Alexia doubled over in tear jerking laughter.

"Seiserom shup shup sha smame mame shuku, savvy? Maliki liki." Jack waved for the cannibals to take Will, Alexia, and Xio away.

"Maliki liki! Maliki liki!" The crowd cheered. Jack bent down to Will and whispered "save me" before turning on a heel. Xio elbowed Alexia in the ribs.

"It's time for plan "wanna hock a luge"." Xio she whispered out of the corner of her mouth. Alexia nodded and pulled out some crazy make up and leaves. They quickly donned on their disguises. Will raised his eyebrows at them.

"What are you doing?" He asked wanting to go with them but the girls were making no move to free him.

"We'll meet you at the great big birdcage in the sky okay?" Alexia put a finger to her lips to hush anymore questions Will had. She then had a mini stroke and starting laughing like a crazy woman.

"GOD! I'm am so stoked!" Alexia shouted before dancing along with the tribe members around her.

"Boom shoukoo! Boom shoukoo!" Xio and Alexia kept yelling as they backed up slowly and melted in the crowd. When Jack looked up the girls had disappeared into the jungle.

* * *

You'll be seeing more of the Sean Connery and Bear Grills jokes. It's all we gals talk about now. It all started in one of Xio's classes. Some kid can do all these character voices which are really funny since he made Sean and Bear talk to each. He can also do Peter and Stewie from Family Guy. Weird though, since it means he talks to himself…

Reviews are niiiiiiccceeeeeeee… (drools a bit) Excellent.


	7. Drop Trou!

Here we see Chelsea taking charge of getting Beckett's signature on those Letters of Mark while Elizabeth half heartingly steps down, not having anyone she wanted to give them to. Not to mention on their way to Tortuga we learn exactly how and why Elizabeth and Will were not married. Information is worth its weight in gold ya know? I didn't either. It's okay.

TOTAL REVISION OF THIS CHAPTER!

**The usu (usual) don't own Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm not that cool but I am pretty damn close.**

* * *

Chelsea and Elizabeth sat in the brig, after being captured outside the jail by two very observant guards, playing the treacherous game of Truth. The game devised to make girls squirm under pressure at any sleep over. There was only one rule: you have to tell the truth not matter how glory the details.

"So what happened to Shane?" Elizabeth asked. Chelsea chewed her bottom lip in concentration.

"Wasn't meant to be I guess." Chelsea laughed sadly.

"Commitment Issues." Chelsea leaned in to whisper like there was someone listening in on their conversation. The only other people in the brig were a few prisoners who had spend the better part of the hour wolf whistling to Chelsea and Elizabeth. After several minutes of cat calling Chelsea stood suddenly and broke her empty rum bottle on the walls surface. She raised it to the men.

"Shut up or I'll cut you so bad… you'll wish I hadn't cut you so bad!" Chelsea had growled making the men stop their hooting immediately.

"Ah, well. You have Justin now so good luck to that!" Elizabeth tried to sound upbeat but failed miserably. Chelsea smiled nervously.

"Right." She shrugged then tapped a finger against her chin.

"Now. Why exactly did you and pretty boy spilt down the middle like a pair of tight pants on a fat wannabe emo?" Chelsea asked. Elizabeth looked around uneasily.

"Come on, come on. Do it quick like a band aid and it won't hurt so badly. Plus talking always helps." Chelsea encouraged Lizzie. She sighed and chugged the rest of the rum.

"Well after you, Alexia, and Xio left I thought everything was normal and it was for a little while. Jack had gone on another adventure and Will and I were finally together. But something was different." Elizabeth thought for a moment about the exact moment Will began to change.

"It was after the engagement if I remember correctly. He seemed distance and constantly questioning himself. So I started to drift away from him and starting seeing someone else. But when the wedding day came up I broke down. I could have been married already! I want to be married so much. But now I have someone else who looks promising which we'll be meeting up with at Totuga if we ever get out of here." Chelsea raised an eyebrow in interest but knew there had to be more.

"Anything else?" Chelsea wanted to make sure she got the entire story. Elizabeth rubbed her chin.

"Yes, he also carried that little rectangle box where ever he went muttering things." Chelsea leaned forward very much interested in her story.

"What things?" She asked.

"He kept saying "would it be different is she had never left." Elizabeth said in a confused tone. Something clicked in Chelsea mind.

"Oh shit." She cursed under her breathe. Elizabeth looked worried.

"What?" She asked trying to look Chelsea in the eye. Chelsea's head snapped up and she smiled innocently.

"Earmuff it for me m'kay guys?" Chelsea asked the prisoners who were leaning, once again, on the cell wall. The prisoners looked confused as Chelsea mimed putting her hands over her ears like earmuffs. Once the prisoners had done what she said to turned back to Lizzie.

"Love huh? It's a mother fucker." Chelsea put of a Boston accent for that bit, which made Elizabeth start laughing until she abruptly stopped.

"Do you hear that?" She asked tilted her head listening for something. Chelsea gave her a knowing smile.

"Nope but I can only assume who it might be." Chelsea rolled her eyes but listened as the footsteps on the stairs quickened. Governor Swann came rushing to Elizabeth's cell.

"Come quickly." The Governor took Elizabeth's hand after the soldier standing at guard unlocked the cell door.

"You can take the ear muffs off now!" Chelsea shouted as she followed the father daughter duo outside, down a winding corridor.

"Hey govey. Be a dear and please explain to me what's a goin' on?" Chelsea asked kindly. Having to jog to keep up the Governor's fast pace. Elizabeth nodded.

"I may still have some standing in the keep. I've arranged passage to England. The Captain is a friend of mine." Elizabeth went strangely calm. Chelsea gave her a sideways glance.

"What about Will and Xio? They went to find Jack." Chelsea protested. Elizabeth ducked her head.

"We cannot count on William Turner or your friend Xio either." Chelsea gasped in outrage.

"How dare you insult my friend like that! I bet she could take you old man." She pointed a threatening finger at the governor then at Elizabeth for keeping quiet.

"Uh…yes Chelsea is right. Will and Xio are better people than you give them credit for." Elizabeth weakly objected. Chelsea gave her a nod of encouragement and also a sharp elbow to the ribs for taking so long to jump on her train.

"But I must warn you Governor, that Beckett's men will be on the dock where you Captain friend has his boat. I suggest you go back home, pack, and leave as soon as possible. I will take care of good old lizzie for you." Chelsea said in a rush, forcing the Governor into his own carriage. He began to protest but Chelsea slammed the carriage door in his face, making the entire carriage shake. She then snapped off a piece of the railing and stuck it in between the door handles so the Governor could not escape.

"To the Manor, then release him." Chelsea instructed to the driver. He nodded before cracking his whip and urging the horses forward. Chelsea then grabbed Lizzie's hand and dragged her along to Beckett's office.

"Time to get Beckett's John Hancock on these papers." She smiled manically, waving the Letters of Marque in front of Lizzie's face.

* * *

The two women stood in the corner of Beckett's office waiting for the fat lard to appear. Chelsea was playing with Elizabeth's hair behind her back.

"So what exactly are you planning to do?" She asked, giving the room a disinterested once over before looking over her shoulder at Chelsea.

"I'm going to threaten him until he gives me what I want." She said finishing her French twist.

"But you'll have to stand on that balcony over there so Beckett will think only I escaped. M'kay?" Chelsea pushed Elizabeth towards the balcony but Elizabeth tripped over her dress and fell back. She managed to pull Chelsea down with her just as Beckett was entering the room.

"I did not think you swung that way Miss Swann." He smirked at the awkward position of the two ladies. Beckett began to walk to his desk when Chelsea's eyes flashed.

"Damn it to hell." Chelsea sighed angrily, propping herself up on one elbow. She then whipping out her pistol and aimed at Mr. Lard But himself. Beckett stood stock still in the middle of his office.

"I have some papers that need your signature Mr. Beckett I will not being leaving until they are." Chelsea smiled evilly as she stood. She threw the Letter's of Marque to Beckett. His hand shook terribly as he reached for his pen and signed the paper. Chelsea came and sat on his desk beside him putting the muzzle of the pistol on his temple.

"I suggest you step to Mr. Beckett. I am not a patience woman." Chelsea hit the desk with her foot rhythmically. Elizabeth made her way quietly to the balcony.

"Here." Beckett said smugly, handing Chelsea back the leather bound papers. She jumped down from the desk and snatched the papers from him.

"Thank ye then. It's all good business, is it not _sir_?" Chelsea smiled and walked to the balcony before she turned back.

"Oh and before I forget, take off your pants." She demanded. Beckett looked completely mortified.

"Pardon?" He asked not thinking he had heard her correctly.

"I said drop trou Mr. Beckett. And now you can add everything else expect the long john's for your disobedience and back sassing!" Chelsea growled. Beckett did as he was told since Chelsea was still pointing a loaded pistol at him and she did not seem to be very stable.

"Now, throw them to me." Chelsea instructed sternly even though she could hear Elizabeth giggling behind her. Beckett tossed her the pile of clothing and stood in nothing but his long john's. Chelsea wrapped up the pile of clothes and threw them over the balcony, into the water below.

"Hey, Beckett. Look like its a little cold in here, huh?" She asked sarcastically, letting her eyes drift downward. Chelsea grabbed two rum bottled off of Beckett's alcohol cabinet then left without another word.

"I'll still want that compass Miss Scott!" Beckett yelled after her but the girls were gone. They made their way swiftly to the dock, laughing all the way.

"What an embarrassing moment of weakness for the proud Lord Beckett." Chelsea said in a British accent making Elizabeth cry.

"Oh Chelsea. I cannot believe you made him strip! You truly are crazy." Elizabeth wiped her eyes.

"Why! Thank you!" Chelsea bowed grandly.

"I'm glad you came back Chelsea, really." Elizabeth said gratefully making Chelsea smile. She then handed Elizabeth a rum bottle and clicked the bottles before taking a swig. The two women then linked arms and sang their Pirate song through the docks searching for a boat heading their way.

* * *

That last line is from the movie Old School. So is "Hey Beckett. It's a little cold outside, huh". I love that movie. It's such a cult film. My friends and I always say those little snippets. So go watch it. Yeah. Review because I write these stories for you, not just myself.


	8. Cute In The Face

We join Xio and Alexia as they help the boys escape from Cannibal Island. And just when everything could not get any worse Jack gets in Will face, again. Another fistfight between Pirate and Blacksmith. Will they every end? Hope not. Those fights are the definition of sexy. Oh and there are finally some mutual feelings in the air. All I can say, to myself and to everyone else, it's about fuckin' time. I'm pissed with myself for not making this happened sooner.

**I have no rights over the Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest ARRGH! **

* * *

Alexia and Xio began traipsing around the Cannibal Village looking for the suspended cages Will and the other crew members were being held in. Problem was they really hadn't been paying attention to where the cannibals had been going so the girls were using their memory of the movie set to guide them.

"We are so lost." Alexia whined wiping off her face makeup and shaking the leaves from her hair. Xio followed suit.

"Maybe we are but look on the bright side. We've still got plenty of time to find them." Just as Xio said this the rhythmic drumming began.

"God forsaken damn it!" She groaned and Alexia put up her hands in defense.

"You're the you who said look on the bright side, which is quite literally cliché death to anything associated with whatever you were talking about." Alexia pointed out as she started walling on another wooden rickety bridge.

"ALEXIA, XIO!"

"I can almost hear his voice." Alexia sighed leaning on the rope railing and looking down. It was a long, long, long drop to the bottom. She moaned when Xio swung the bridge dangerously.

"Of course you can hear his voice. He's right there!" Xio rolled her eyes, pointing to the suspended cage slightly below them. Alexia stared at the cage.

"I don't think that's them." She tried squinting at the cage but Xio had already grabbed her hand and was towing her toward a spot on the edge of the grassy cliff. Alexia clung to a near by tree.

"Xio. Hello! Fear of falling from high places. There's no way I'm going over there!" Alexia said looking uneasy. Xio shrugged her shoulders.

"Fine." She leaned down and waved her arms.

"Will! Swing the cages closer to the cliff. Then start climbing." Xio shouted instructions while Alexia slowly inched closer. It was a slow process but definitely worth seeing those cages swing and hearing those grown men screaming in a mixture of terror and joy.

"Must be fun." Xio commented but she laughed cruelly when the crew almost made it but came away with torn bits of grass. Alexia punched her in the arm.

"Why don't you go get your broom and help them out." Alexia narrowed her eyes at her sister but smiled slightly.

"Whatevs Alexia, _cause I don't even care_." Xio said in her Bear Grylls tone of voice, accompanied by a flamboyant flick of her hand. Alexia cracked up.

"That's what's up." She agreed. The girls finally noticed that the crew had managed to latch onto some stronger vines and were slowly making their way up the rock face.

"So what do you think about Will?" Xio asked nonchalantly but Alexia just gave her an uncertain face.

"I honestly don't know." She said quietly, looking down at said Blacksmith struggling to climb up towards her.

"But he kind of reminds me of your ex, Andy. Cute in the face, fun to laugh at when he does something stupid, and build to last. Like a Chevy." Xio smiled but Alexia gave her a look.

"You mean a Ford." Alexia pointed out. Xio shook her head.

"Nah, that's not right. And don't change the subject." Xio pointed an accusatory finger at her. Alexia shrugged.

"He is quite cute in the face." Alexia murmured with a slight smile, even though she could think of one other person who was sexy by definition.

"That a girl!" Xio put an arm around her sister and pulled her close.

"Stop! Someone's coming stop!" Will whispered forcefully to the other cage. All the men stopped as commanded and looked up to a young native walked across a near by bridge. Xio and Alexia crawled behind a small bush.

"SNAKE! Aaaaaaa!" The girls snickered at stupid pirate.

"I do luuurve karma." Xio whispered to Alexia as they leaned out from their hiding spot to see the rope holding the cage over the ravine break and the least important part of the crew fall to their deaths.

"Kersplat!" Alexia said in a disgusted tone.

"Move it or lose it Will!" Xio shouted down gesturing for the crew to hurry. The native boy stared at the cages and began to run.

"Alexia go get him!" Xio hissed but Alexia just shook her head.

"Why not? You're the fastest Mexican I know." Xio whined, Alexia raised an eyebrow at her comment.

"Yes but then what will become of our good friend Mr. Sparrow?" Alexia said whipping out her dagger, ready for when the crew made it over the edge of the cliff. They were coming up fast.

"Pull it loose, find a rock!" Will shouted but smiled when he saw Alexia's dagger.

"May I be of assistance sir?" She asked politely before she started sawing through the thick rope. By the time she was done the whole Cannibal Tribe were making their way towards them. Xio and Alexia wriggled into the cage.

"Roll the cage!" They yelled pushing the walls of the cage until it was rolling out of control down a grassy knoll.

"It's just like being in the gravitron at the fair!" Xio squealed excitingly flying past Alexia's head.

"Make it stop! Make the spinning stop!" Alexia yelled frantically grabbing onto the cage as an anchor. Then the cage rolled up a tilted palm tree and crashed to the ground. Before Alexia could even blink the cage was being lift and they were off again. Xio and Alexia choose to sit a piece of the cage that made a little bench.

"They're still behind us ya'll. Giddity up now partner!" Alexia shouted. She and Xio then began singing country western tunes.

"Move 'em on, head 'em up. Head 'em up, move 'em on. Move 'em on, head 'em up. Raaaawwwwhhhiiidddeeeee!"

"YEEEEHHHHAAAAAAWWWWW!!" Both girls laughed but then started screaming when the cage fell into a crag and began sinking in the water. Luckily the cage had broken apart and Will helped guide them to cover as the arrows came raining down from the Cannibals. A spear nearly missed Alexia's head.

"Oh lawd!" She shouted from her position behind Will. He had pressed her and Xio up against the rock wall and stood in front of them, protecting them from harm. Just as the crew thought they had lost the Cannibals they popped up on the other side of the crag. They raised their weapons and prepared to attack.

"Cheese and Crackers Batman, they've caught us!" Xio gasped. Then the little native boy came running up to the tribe and shouted something in gibberish. The tribe looked at each other before hustling in some unknown direction. The crew shared a look.

"Some peoples children." Alexia said shaking her head.

"Amen to that." Xio agreed. Will turned to the two girls.

"So, how are you girls?" Will asked smiling like a fool. Alexia tapped her index finger against her chin.

"At the moment…" She said in a pleasant tone that could have been misconstrued as sarcastic. Will chose to ignore the comment and led the girls down the crag to the beach.

"So why were you with Jack?" Will asked Alexia, prying. She gave him a noncommittal shrugged and smile.

"He's just who I got dropped with." Alexia said making idle chitchat whilst Xio kept wagging her eyebrows at her. She eventually had to elbow Xio in the ribs to make her stop.

"Anyhoo, why do you want to know?" She asked innocently budding up to Will, almost throwing off his balance. The crew had arrived at the Pearl to find Pintel a rope in his hands, standing in the rising surf.

"Pull loose the mooring line. The mooring line!" Pintel shouted to a preoccupied Ragetti.

"It's got me eye." Ragetti appeared over the railing, pointing to his empty eye socket, "It won't give it back!"

"Well, how'd you get it back last time?" Pintel yelled angrily just as Gibbs came running up. He thumped the pirate on the back and headed to the rope ladder on the side of the Pearl.

"Excellent! Our work's half done!"

"We done it for you! Knowing you'd be coming back for it." Pintel said timidly, his hand slightly raised. Alexia came up to him and imitated his stance.

"May the force be with you young Jedi." She said with her serious face. Xio walked past her and grabbed her arm.

"Just cause you watched Star Wars for the gagillionth time before you came here does not mean you get to screw with the crew Alexia." Xio scowled her but she just giggled.

"Ooooowwweeeooo. That was dirty." Alexia said in astonishment and a sinful smirk. Xio rolled her eyes at Alexia's juvenile humor.

"Whatev."

"Make ready to sail!" Gibbs shouted tying off ropes and helping out where ever he could.

"Wait, what about Jack? I won't leave without him." Will said noble-y.

"Ooo, there's Jack!" Alexia pointed out. She leaned forward on the railing with a hand over her eyes, shielding them from the sun.

"And it looks like he's bringing his entire Cannibal entourage with him." She said nonchalantly.

"Time to go." Will ran to the helm, making ready to sail. Alexia and Xio stayed by the railing watching as Jack ran awkwardly toward his ship. Once he grabbed onto the netting on the side of the Pearl he saluted the cannibals.

"Alas my children, this is the day you shall always remember as the day you almost…" He was cut off when a wave splashed him from head to toe. Xio giggled.

"What a Frub." Xio sighed turning to watch the crew get everything ship shape. She noticed her sister staring at her pants.

"What?" She asked but Alexia had already grabbed the remote protruding from her front pants pocket.

"Awww crap." She sucked her teeth as water trickled slowly from the drenched remote.

"Stan's gonna kill me." Alexia sighed tapping her snow globe watch.

"Who's Stan?" Xio asked confused, trying to get a look at the watch she hadn't noticed before, but was interrupted when Jack started yelling.

"NO! You are such a wrong little eunuch!" The girl's head's snapped up as they realized Will and Jack were arguing by the helm. They moved closer to listen in, as did most of the crew.

"I've seen you sniffing around her and its disgusting! You must be, at least, twice her age." Will spat. Alexia "oohed" for her life.

"That's right Will! Now tell him to put that in his juice box and suck it!" Xio shouted. Will gave her look telling her to say out of this.

"Yeah and she would like ye better. A eunuch?" Jack slung back. Alexia gave him her half and half hand motion.

"Elizabeth does like the pretty boy, hunky weakling types." She pointed out to Xio, who nodded.

"So true." Xio agreed over the noise the crew was making. They were placing bets and hollering for the two to fist fight. It reminded the girls of the horse races their step mom had dragged them to. Expect there were no cigars, fancy girly drinks, or rich fat people armed with parasols.

"Yes well she may not be a proper lady but she's not a scoundrel like you. She belongs with me." Will shouted, his hand ghosting over the hilt of his sword.

"Tussle, Tussle!" Xio started chanting, most of the crew joined her.

"Oh bilmey, I hope this won't be like fisticuffs at dawn." Alexia joked.

"Yes but she wants to go sailing with me. She's said so on many different occasions! What has she said to you, eunuch?" Jack asked with a spiteful laugh.

"Uh... Alex. I don't think they're talking about Elizabeth anymore." Xio gathered slowly, looking a bit puzzled. Alexia tilted her head to the side.

"Are you for serious?" They were fighting over her? She should have liked it. But…

"Yeah well, I'm the one she kissed!" Will growled making Jack smirk like a great smirking thing.

"Really? Because she gave yours truly a little parting gift back on that dock too ya know." Jack said crossing his arm. When Will looked like he might cut that sarcastic smile into Jack's face Alexia rushed forward with her arms raised.

"WHOA! Before anyone says anything else they might regret, take a breather, and put the dueling pistols away." Will and Jack shared a look, since they had been going for their swords and not their pistols.

"Figure of speech people." Alexia wringed her hands and looked to her sister for support.

"All right, clear out! Nothing to see here! Back to work!" She yelled to the crew, shooing them away. Alexia mouth thanks to her sister then turned to face Jack and Will. They both looked amused and embarrassed.

"Right then. You two must be retarded! We have a key to find and six lives on steak and you two were about to fight over me? That isn't high school people. No more "why you lookin' at my woman like that" nonsense." Alexia told them off. Will looked down at his shoes.

"I'm sorry." He immediately apologized. Jack, however, crossed his arms and stood his ground.

"Well I'm not. I'm not going to apologize because of my feelings." He rolled his eyes. But Alexia pinned him down with one of her double knock out glares.

"Oh really? Because you know nothing about me Jack Sparrow so I can only assume all your feeling's for me are coming from one place." She let her eyes drift down to Jack's trouser area. Will snickered. Right then a there Alexia decided on the best punishment for Jack's overall cockiness on being able to woo her.

"Plus, I like Will better so get over it." She said covering her mouth in mock surprise.

"Oopps did I just say that?" She asked innocently smiling like the devil. Jack's mouth fell out as he turned from Alexia to Will. Will put his hands up in defense and smiled like he had just won the lottery.

"Sorry mate." He said in a belittling tone that did not suit him.

"Why I oughta..." Jack started toward Will flexing his fingers about ready to choke Will when Alexia put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't you just make sure we get to Tia Dalma's before I get back on deck whilst I go talk to a certain someone about water logged electronic devices." Alexia rolled her eyes before exiting stage right and grabbing Xio's wrist.

"BUT WHO'S STAN?" Xio asked again as Alexia drove through the crew and dragged Xio below deck. Everyone stood quiet staring after the girls until they disappeared down the stairs.

"So, what about that fight?" Ragetti questioned but shut his mouth when Jack glared at him.

"We have a need to travel upriver." Jack announced, taking the wheel.

* * *

OOOooooowwweeeeooooo!! Total Drama Island! Which is a show as well as a phrase I use. SO Jack likes Alexia for obvious reasons (she is a girl on his ship, that covers about 89% of it) and Will has other plans that may include making Alexia into a proper lady for him to be with (not gonna happen). Very Interesting. Read and Review. Cause I lurrrvveee you all!


	9. Hit Me Up Later T Dog

Ahh… now the search for the missing widowed virgin lady and the key to Davy Jones' Chest begin. Well… not before Alexia and Xio have a little chitchat with Stan The Man about the whole wet remote dealeo. Sucks for them. And what interesting fact about Tia Dalma that reveals the real reason the girls were brought to The Pirates Movie. Oh and Chelsea entertains Elizabeth with her impressions that are just a teenie bit racist. Nothin' but fun in the sun. Teehee.

**I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I'm not too torn up about it. **

* * *

Chelsea and Elizabeth were leaning against the railing on the deck of a random boat they had stowed away on. After discarding their womanly clothes for more mannish garb they stole a few bananas and were happily eating them.

"I do like dressing like a man." Chelsea pointed her banana at Lizzie girl and shook it. Elizabeth gave her a questioning look but was unable to say anything because of her mouth full of banana.

"Because you get to pretend that your brain has fallin' out and walk like a G." Chelsea clarified taking another bite of her banana before throwing the peel over the railing. She then stepped forward and jacked down her pants. With her shoulders hunched Chelsea grabbed her crotch and started throwing gang signs with her other hand.

"What's up my homie G skillet biscuit combo with hot sauce and bacon? You do it up this weekend? I got some 22's rims on my pimpmobile. Yah dawg! Got some spinners to match too. YYEEEAAHHH BOOOYYY!! Hit me up later!" Chelsea kept pimp walking up and down the deck until she got some very annoyed looks and Elizabeth looked like she might pee herself from laughing.

"Or the more courteous gentlemen like talk." Chelsea straightened her posture as much a humanly possible and ended up looking like she had a broomstick shoved up her bum. She then pretended to adjust her imaginary monocle and stuck her nose high in the air.

"Good Morrow kind sir. Dare I ask whose dress this is? Such an oddity to find this sort of fine attire on a filthy deck of a ship such as this. Sir is this, perhaps, yours?" Chelsea asked in her best British up tight accent. Elizabeth's eyes bulged as she tried to quiet her laughter. Draw by curiosity two sailors came to find out what was so funny. Chelsea offered the dress to the fatter of the two sailors.

"Ahh… it must be yours sir. Thank ye for admitting it proudly and please take your dress. It is pretty fresh to death." Chelsea bowed grandly holding the dress out to the fat sailor. He blushed furiously.

"S'not mine!" He shouted angrily snatching the dress from Chelsea, "It is obvious that there is a woman spirit on this ship. In search of a husband lost at sea."

Chelsea and Elizabeth shared a look, complete with one raised eyebrow and their index fingers curled over their upper lip in the attempt to make false mustaches.

"No!" The other skinnier sailor argued trying to rip the dress from the fat sailor's grip, "We must throw this over board. We can not have a female ghost on this ship!"

"Give it here!"

"No give it here!"

"Damn it feels good to be a gangster." Chelsea stated as she and Elizabeth went back to leaning on the ships railing watching the two bickering men. If left to their own devices someone would have surely died but seeing as the Captain had taken notice of the situation, which seemed very unlikely now.

"What's all this?" The Captain asked coming from the helm and fighting through the crew who had crowded around the two squabbling men. The Captain took one look at the dress then raised an eyebrow before putting up his hands.

"If you both fancy the dress, you'll just have to share and wear it one after the other." Everyone joined in with Chelsea's laughter.

"It's not like that sir!" The skinnier of the two sailors spoke up, looking very embarrassed. Chelsea noted the way his face looked like someone had pinch him, hard.

"This ship is haunted." He whispered so the Captain had to lean in to hear him. Chelsea began giggling loudly attracting many suspicious glares.

"Sorry, I have a tickle in my throat. COUGH! COUGH! I think I got it." Chelsea said in her Viking Voice trying to clear her throat. Elizabeth gave Captain Fussy Knickers the thumbs up sign, advising him not to worry about her mate's health.

"Is it now?" The Captain asked skinny sailor, completely ignoring Chelsea, "You?"

"There is a female presence amongst us here, sir. All the men, they can feel her." Fatty sailor argued but then he made a weird face as he realized what he had just said.

"OOOoooowwweeeeeooooo. They can feel her? What dirtiness." Chelsea commented making Elizabeth snicker. She then dug around in her pocket and pulled out a pack of gum.

"Dirty mouth. Clean it up with sugar free Orbit." Chelsea offered the fat sailor a piece of gum and showed him how to chew it.

"FREE GUMMIES!" Chelsea shouted waving her pack of gum around in the air. The crew rushed forward to grab a piece of whitening gumtastic treats and the dress was all but forgotten. Chelsea gave Elizabeth The All Knowing nod.

"Now…hide the dress and get me some rum." Chelsea whispered out of the side of her mouth. Elizabeth nodded quickly and stowed the dress in a box under the box holding the rum.

* * *

In the Captain's Quarters Xio sat eating a bowl of noodles in Jack's chair while she watched Alexia pace in front of her. She had already called Stan via her wristwatch and was currently waiting for him to gather supplies and meet her in Jack's Office.

"So how did you bribe Jack into letting you shut him out of his own quarters?" Xio asked slurping her noodles loudly. Occasionally Xio would slips Daisy a noodle and she'd go to town on it bahhing in delight. Alexia smirked.

"By some heavy flirting that would make even you proud." Alexia admitted petting Daisy's head. She checked her watch again and sighed loudly.

"Where the hell is this stupid son of a…" But Alexia was cut off when her watch buzzed and it projected a hologram of Stan. It was fuzzy around the background so it was impossible to tell where he was.

"The Staninator has arrived!" He yelled throwing his arms up into the air in his recording. Of course when Alexia gave him The Look it made him bite his lip and drop his eyes to the floor, like a small boy being scolded by his mother.

"And I have found the tools I need to fix your remote." He said quietly rummaging through his messenger bag until he brought out a half finished remote, some random parts of rubber and metal bits, and a small tool belt filling with miniature tools to show the girls. It was amazing how life like the hologram was.

"So I will meet you later at Tia Dalma's." Stand told the girls before stopping his actions and stared at Daisy the goat.

"Why do you guys have a goat?" He asked but was interrupted when Will came bursting through the French doors. He froze mid step and stared at Stan the hologram.

"Alexia who's that?" He asked, his head slowly tilting to one side. Alexia went shifty eyed. Xio and Daisy looked to Alexia, then Will, then Stan with wide eyes and a bit of noodle hanging from their mouths.

"Who's who, sexy man?" Alexia asked husky tone running a hand up Will's chest. He looked about ready to burst with happiness. Alexia hid her watch hand behind her back and fumble with the off button. Xio took the distraction to raise her index finger to her lips and gestured for Stan to mimic the motion. He nodded slightly and stood stock still as his image disappeared.

"Come on Will, I can hear Jack calling us." Alexia batted her eyelashes at Will, took his hand, and led him out of the room.

"Can we bring Daisy?" Xio asked shutting the door behind her and her goat.

* * *

After the Black Pearl had been anchored and the rowboats dropped Alexia, Xio, Will, and Daisy crammed onto a rowboat with Gibbs. They set of behind Jack's boat with the rest of the crew. Will sat close to Alexia afraid she might change her mind about her feelings if he did not take action soon. She, however, was marveling the wonder of the fireflies and barely noticed his nearness.

"Why is Jack afraid of the open ocean?" Will asked trying to start conversation. Alexia settled her head on Will's shoulder preparing to listen to Gibbs' story. Xio leaned over the boats side and ran a hand of the water's surface. She got the creepy crawlies when she noticed people lurking in the shadows watching the boats progress with big yellow cat eyes.

"Well…" Gibbs began, "if you believe such things, there's a beast does the bidding of Davy Jones. A fearsome creature with giant tentacles that suction your face clean off and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness."

There was a dramatic pause.

"The Kraken." An eerie fog lifted up from the river and cast a cold draft over the group. Daisy and Xio huddled closer together for warmth.

"Imagine, the last thing you know on God's green earth is the roar of the Kraken and the reeking odor of a thousand rotting corpses." Alexia squeezed Will's arm.

"If you believe such things." Gibb's repeated to comfort his storytelling group.

"If he has a Kraken that big he must be overcompensating for something." Alexia smirked at Xio, who tried not to crack a smile. Alexia pointed a finger at her sister and made an "oh" face.

"I see that smile Xio. Just let it happen man. Laugh a little." Xio was trying hard but eventually busted out laughing and punched Alexia in the shoulder for her comment. She cringed slightly and started laughing.

"Come on you know that was funny!" She argued as she turned to see if they were nearing Tia Dalma's hut.

"And the key will spare him that?" Will asked genuinely wanting to know. Gibb's leaned forward to tell him before Alexia beat him to the punch.

"Dunno but that's the very question Jack wants answered. Bad enough even to go visit an old friend." Alexia and Xio shared a sinister smile. When they had finally sailed up to the hut's small dock Jack was tying up his boat.

"Let me help you up there, luv." Jack offered his hands to Xio and Alexia.

"What a gentlemen." Alexia complimented smiling at Jack, his heart fluttered. They each gladly accepted leaving Gibb's and Will to haul up Daisy and tie up the boat.

"No worries, mates. Tia Dalma and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseparable we are." Jack thought for a moment.

"Were. Have been…before." Jack now seemed completely lost in the past. Gibb's came up to him and patted his back.

"I'll watch your back." He assured Jack.

"It's me front I'm worried about." Jack admitted, allowing Alexia, Xio, and Daisy to go into the hut before him. Gibb's turned to Will.

"Mind the boat."Will turned to Ragetti.

"Mind the boat" Ragetti turned to his bestie Pintel.

"Mind the boat." Pintel turn to Midget Marty.

"Mind the boat." Marty the Midget turned to Cotton and his parrot.

"Mind the boat." Then Cotton's parrot turned to look it's own in the eye.

"Mind the boat." It cawed before flying off Cotton's shoulder and climbing the stairs to Tia Dalma's hut. Cotton sank dejectedly into the long boat telling himself being a mute just wasn't fair.

* * *

Jack walked cautiously into Tia Dalma's house right behind Xio and Alexia in case Tia was in a bad mood about Jack not coming to see her anymore. The girls did not notice their being used as a human shield because they were to busy looking at all the cool knickknacks hanging around and the live snake curled around a ceiling rafter. Tia looked up from her crab claws and spotted Jack behind the girls.

"Jack Sparrow." Tia called slowly in her thick accent. Jack made his "uh-oh" face unsure what tone she was taking.

"You got fuzz on your peaches or what boy? Go talk to her." Xio mocked Jack shoving him forward. Alexia giggled quietly. Jack grinned at her until Will walked up and put an arm around her shoulder signifying Jack better give it up cause this game was over.

"Tia Dalma!" He exclaimed stepping forward almost knocking his head against a hanging jar full of eyeballs. He eyed the jar carefully and moved his head out of the way so he could walk up to Tia Dalma.

"I always knowed the wind was going to blow you back to me one day." She drawled approaching Jack when she spotted Alexia and Xio whispering to each other. Tia moved forward with a hand outstretched to the girls.

"You look familiar childs. Come here." She beckoned the girls forward and they complied smiling like two newborn angels. Tia took a look at the two of them and then hugged them suddenly.

"I need an adult! I NEED AN ADULT!" Alexia started flailing her arms wildly trying to escape Tia's grasp with the determination of a rogue turkey on Thanksgiving. Will and Jack moved forward.

"Do not be afraid. I will not be a harmin' you. I am the one who sent for you. Stanley said so right?" Xio and Alexia shared a look.

"Actually, now that you mention it…no. No he didn't, actually." A look crossed Tia's face before quickly vanishing as she smiled all slow and evil like. Alexia and Xio tried to back slightly away from the crazy woman but Tia brought them closer.

"He's in the back. We'll just go and give him a visit." She gestured to the backroom where strings of beads were hanging in the doorway. Alexia pointed at the door.

"There isn't a dead body back their right?" She asked wrinkling her nose. Tia laughed.

"Course not. He's quite close to livin' now." She smiled that creepy smile again before leading the girls through the beads and into the back room. Alexia turned and pointed at Jack.

"No stealing or I'll adopt the Islamic Law Code." She narrowed her eyes at Jack's hand, which had already been reaching for a ring sitting on Tia's table. Jack tried to look innocent.

"Which means?" Jack questioned even though Will was glaring at the back of his head hard enough to drill holes into his skull. Alexia smirked.

"The punishment for theft is amputation of your right hand." Jack's eye grew wide as she fingered her dagger and followed Xio into the backroom. But her slight smile made Will believe she was flirting with Jack. And that may have been the case.

* * *

What's next? Dunno. But believe me when I say it'll be crazy. By the way Alexia is me and I like playing the field for the right guy. So her and Will or her Jack are two options that could happen. Yes, yes I know I'm greedy but come on! Having two sexie beasties eating out of your hands at the same time. Who in their right mind wouldn't want that? Review and groove on you lovely people.


	10. No, They're Just My Boy Toys

So in this chapter we finally find out who really brought the girls to this time period and why Alexia wants to play the field. There's also some pretty funny snippets I think of every time I watch this movie. And not to mention Jack being inappropriate in a room filled with people. Funny as hell. Sorry for taking so long. I've had to focus alot of my attention on my PreCal class which I might be failing.

**_Don't own anything to do with Pirates except for a Jack Sparrow night light that my friend Megan got me for Christmas._**

* * *

Stan the Man stood at attention in front of a long wooden table where Tia had already started yelling at him in some Creole language. Alexia turned to join her sister from where she was slowly edging toward the end of the table. There lay Barbossa's motionless body, face down on the wood.

"Touch him Xio, I dare you!" Alexia encouraged but feared the body would turn over and there would be a black hole where the face ought to be. Xio shivered.

"Nuh uh! I've seen those zombie movies and what lesson did I learn? Ya never touch the dead body, ever!" She protested leading Alexia down the table to where Tia and Stan stood.

"Alexia, Xio. Please come closer. This be a private talk. I would not want Jack and his friends to hear." Tia beckoned the girls to Stan's pile of tools.

"Oh don't worry about it. They'll stay put in your other room." Alexia reassured Tia while handing Stan the wet remote. He popped off the face of the remote and almost cried when he saw the state it was in. He got straight to work on replaced all the water damaged parts.

"And why is tat?" Tia asked moving aside some crazy looking coins, a pair of rabbit's feet, more shell and bead necklaces, and a heart shaped locket. Alexia eyed the locket greedily.

"Cause they're just my boy toys." Alexia clarified reaching for locket while Xio examined some of the coins. Xio snapped her head up from her inspections.

"They?" She asked in a tone that edged toward confused interest. Alexia nodded as she ran her thumb over the crab locket face. She had to wait for the roar of Stan's hand held welder to die down before she continued the conversation.

"Yeah. I kinda might be using Will to make Jack suffer a little." She admitted quietly while picking nervously at her nails. She was hoping Xio hadn't heard her but she had. Xio gave her sister a double edged look.

"You are so going to hell for this, just so you know." Xio said shaking her head tutting at her sister with a half smile. Alexia crossed her arms not amused at her sister's sarcastic humor.

"What? It's not my fault their both ridiculous beyond limitation. Which means having a relationship with either one of them is totally out of the question. So I'll just have to see how everything plays out." Alexia reasoned smiling sinisterly sinking into a near by chair. She propped her elbows up on the table and rested her chin in her hands. Xio came and sat beside her sister, to give her an estranged look.

"What do you think?" Alexia asked swiveling her head to face Xio.

"Well, I think its mighty high of you to keep both of them on a short leash for your pleasure. Hopefully they can survive your flirtatious temper." Xio said sarcastically giving her sister a stern look. She raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean survive?" Alexia asked with a slight edge to her voice.

"Oh nothin'. You just get a little mean when you like someone. So be careful with those tricks you're playing. " Xio said with a shrugged of her shoulders.

"Thanks for your input Agony Aunt." Xio gave Alexia, who was rolling her eyes, an encouraging smile just as Tia threw down a heavy burlap sack. Both girls looked up at Tia with old school gangster stares.

"What's in the bag?" Xio asked but was shocked into silence when Tia uncovered a crystal ball the size of a basketball. Alexia's jaw dropped as Xio looked from the crystal ball to Tia beyond confused.

"That's one giant ball." Xio said before she could catch herself. Alexia laughed so hard she started snorting and crying all at the same time.

"I knew it! I didn't think you would but you did!" She choked using the wooden table to keep her chair steady as she shook with laughter.

"What's goin on back there? Are ya'll talking to me?" Jack shouted from the other room but Alexia had progressed into silent laughter so she couldn't shout back a snippy comment, so Xio took up her job.

"We were talking about you not to you!" Xio yelled shaking Alexia by the shoulder making her take a few gasping breathes before she passed out from lack of oxygen.

"But you have pretty eyes so it's okay!" Alexia hollered back still laughing lightly.

"So... what's with the crystal ball? You don't seem the type for fake fortune telling involving a turban and many weathered shawls." She inquired facing Tia with calm coolness after her laugh fiasco. Xio rolled her eyes.

"Ta show ya 'ow the future ends." Tia said waving a hand over the crystal ball. The smoky interior changed producing a movie snippet. It showed James dieing, then fast forward to Will standing at the helm of The Flying Dutchman sailing towards Elizabeth, and Jack sitting on a little dinky with Barbossa sailing away in the Pearl. Xio yawned.

"Seen it. Is there anything else on?" She asked condescendingly holding her fist up for a knuckle touch. Alexia reluctantly obliged.

"It can not end like you 'ave seen. I brought you to this time because the future is not the way that it should be." Tia said persistently pulling out her scrying and cupped them in her hands. She blew on her lucky dice and threw them down on her table. Xio and Alexia tilted their heads trying to see a shape in the claws and shells.

"I kinda see a Q or something." Xio guessed.

"Really? I see a baby lamb riding a red 86' Harley jumping over a flaming pit with an Evil Knievel helmet and matching gloves." Alexia said nodding her head in deep thought. Xio gave her a look making her throw up her hands in the classic "what?" pose.

"Da fates have changed, destinies altered. You girls must make sure the future follows its new course." Tia said covering the crystal ball back up and moving it to a shelf out of the way.

"So how are we supposed to know what the new course is?" Alexia asked. Tia tapped a finger on her chin.

"Good question." She thought aloud. Suddenly an "Aha!" echoed through the room. The women turned to see Stan hunched over the wooden table with the remote cradled in his hands.

"It lives. My creation! It lives!" He shouted holding the remote up toward the heavens. Alexia cheered running forward to snatch the remote out of Stan's grip.

"Now we can go back and save the clock tower!" She shouted.

"Come now. She should go back ta yer friends." Tia gestured for the girls to follow her.

"Remember Alexia. Call me, beep me, if you want to reach me." Stan sang with one hand on his hip and the other waving the girls out of the room with a flamboyant flare. Xio and Alexia shared a disturbed a look.

"Is he…? Xio wanted to ask but couldn't put the words together. Alexia shook her head in uncertainty and tugged Xio forward into the adjacent room.

* * *

"You." Tia Dalma approached Will, her long tattered dress making her progress slow. She pointed straight at Will.

"You have a touch a' destiny about you. William. Turner." Will looked confused as to why this woman knew his name.

"You know me?" Will asked with an unintelligent look on his face. Alexia raised her eyebrows at Xio in a mocking fashion.

"You want to know me." Tia asked seductively leaning in closer to Will. Jack, to his astonishment, was the one who intervened between the two.

"They'll be no knowing here." He assured the both of them. Alexia crossed her arms and glared at Will. He dropped his eyes to the floor.

"We've come for help and we're not leaving without it." As Jack led Tia away from Will he snuck a glance at Alexia. She didn't even look remotely pissed that another woman had just thrusting herself upon the poor eunuch.

"I thought I knew you." Jack asked absentmindedly.

"Not so well as I'd hoped." Tia said dejectedly heading to the back of her hut.

"Come." She shouted waving Jack and Will over to her scrying table. Xio and Alexia were already seated at the table whispering to each other about Tia's choice of creepy bat center pieces and other things. Even seeing the movie on their X-Box 360 couldn't capture the pure supernatural feel of Tia's Hut and all the odd curios hanging about.

"That's just wrong." Xio whispered poking tentatively at the stiff wings.

"Come." Jack motioned Will over and Tia pushed him down in between hers and Xio's chairs. Alexia then took the seat next across from Xio, leaving one other chair empty. Daisy automatically came up to Xio and nosed her hand for a treat, she patted the goats' wide head. Jack moved to take the seat between Tia and Alexia when she crossed her legs over the chair so he couldn't sit down.

"Luv… please let me sit down." Jack said in a tone that was more demanding than asking.

"Even though you did use the P word you still have your negotiations to conduct. Soorrweee." Alexia smirked sticking out her tongue at Jack.

"What service may I do ya for?" Tia asked caressing Will's face, Alexia mouth "I hate you" to Xio.

"You know I demand payment!" Tia growled forcefully at Jack, rotating her head in his general direction.

"I brought payment." Jack whistled and gestured for Gibbs to bring forward a covered cage. He ripped off the veil like a professional magician to reveal the monkey inside.

"Look!" Jack yelled with the enthusiasm of a five year old with a new Harry Potter light up wand he found in his cereal box. He then cocked his pistol and shot the unsuspecting monkey. It screeched loudly but did not keel over and die.

"An undead monkey. Top that!" He said slamming the cage onto the table and smiling triumphantly. He then pulled out the chair next to Alexia causing her legs to drop. He smiled when she narrowed her eyes at his actions. Tia looked over the cage before opening the latch and letting the undead monkey out.

"NO!" Gibbs shouted reaching out in pain.

"You've no idea how long it took us to catch that." Gibbs whined.

"What do you care? I was me and Xio who caught the damn thing." Alexia scoffed remember sitting on the railing with that same cage, eating some mangoes.

"So I wonder how we're going to catch this monkey." Xio commented peeling the skin off her second mango. Alexia opted for a banana.

"Dunno." Alexia shrugged her shoulders, breaking off the tip of her banana and throwing it into the cage beside her. That's when Jack the monkey came screeching down from the rigging to munch happily of said banana. Alexia and Xio shared a look.

"Easy peeise lemon squeezy." Alexia sang, shrugging her shoulders at the flashback.

"Pumpkin pie mother fuckers!" Xio yelled slamming her hands on the table. Everyone stared at her.

"Dude." Alexia sighed shaking her head at Xio's inappropriate outburst.

"The payment is fair." Tia confirmed seating herself next to Will again. Once Jack was sure Tia's concentration was now focused on Will he pulled out the chair Alexia had her feet propped up on causing them to fall to the floor. She gave him a dirty look before turning to allow him to sit.

"Hello luv. I've missed you." Jack whispered leaning in close to Alexia. She sighed while massaging the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

"We're looking for this." Will said bringing everyone back on track. He laid out the cloth drawing of a key. Tia examined the picture and then practically broke her neck when she turned to stare at Jack.

"The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?" She asked very confused since she knew that compass could find the thing you wanted most in the world. Jack straightened up in his chair as Tia addressed him.

"Maybe. Why?" He asked trying to defect the attention Tia's question had brought him. Alexia and Xio shared a look before turning to gaze at Jack with sinful grins all around.

"Aaahh…Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants!" Tia said in an amazed tone, Alexia snickered behind her hand. Jack glared at the Alexia, who was looking around innocently with a big smile on her face.

"Or do you know but are loath to claim it as your own?" Tia asked eyeing Alexia who was trying not to blush. Will tilted his head at Tia's scrutiny.

"Your key go to a chest. And it is what lay inside the chest you seek. Don't it?" Tia asked throwing the information onto the table with a flick of her wrist.

"What is inside?" Gibbs asked, he was such a Material Girl.

"Gold? Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?" Pintel guessed almost drooling at the mouth like a dog being tempted with a honey baked ham. Alexia rolled her eyes at Jack's treasure obsessed crew when she felt a hand running up her thigh. She raised an eyebrow across the table at Xio until her sister had a sneaking suspicion Jack was up to something. Alexia then slowly turned her head toward Jack with a fierce look that told him to stop before she became violent. He ignored that vicious look and continued his ventures.

"Nothing bad, I hope." Ragetti commented quietly starting a jar of human eye balls handing by his head. Xio kicked Jack's leg under the table. Will sat merrily not noticed Jack feeling up his girl.

"You know of Davy Jones, yes?" When the crew nodded Tia continued. "A man of the sea. A great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vex all men."

"What vexes all men?" Will asked thoughtlessly. Tia leaned even farther into Will's personal bubble, teasingly touching his hand. Alexia curled and uncurled her fists as Jack traced small circles on her lower back, until she got fed up enough to slap his hands away. He in turn slapped her hands and a full on smack fight broke out underneath the table.

"What indeed." She grinned naughtily at Will with her blacked teeth. Gibbs looked a little puzzled.

"The Sea?"

"Sums." Pintel guessed.

"The dichotomy of good and evil?" Ragetti asked earning him a look from everyone in the room. Alexia took this opportunely to punch Jack hard in the shoulder. He yelped and removed his hands from her personal bubble immediately.

"A woman!" Jack cried, wincing as he grabbing his shoulder and massaging it gently. Alexia smiled triumphantly at Xio who winked across the table at her sister.

"A woman. He fell in love."

"This is neither the time nor the place for that kind of foolishness Jack." Alexia whispered sickly sweet in his ear. Will raised an eyebrow at her behavior and she bit her lip.

"No no no no, I heard it was the sea he fell in love with." Gibbs argued.

"Same story, different version and all are true!" Tia growled irritably at Gibbs for interrupting her tale. "See it was a woman as changing, and harsh and untamableas the sea. He never stopped loving. But the pain it caused him was too much to live with. But not enough to cause him to die.

"Sounds like someone I know." Will muttered under his breath looking towards Alexia who was currently playing with a crab shaped locket.

"So what exactly did he put in the chest?" Alexia asked even though she knew what the answer would be.

"Him heart" Tia said putting a hand upon her beast. Xio tried to stop Daisy from eating Tia's table cloth while Jack nudged Alexia with his elbow.

"Literally or figuratively?" Ragetti asked in a tone that suggested that he would believe either answer.

"He couldn't literally put 'is heart in a chest. Could he?" Pintel asked with a raised eyebrow looking for reassurance. Xio shook her head while petting Daisy's head in an evil way.

"It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings." Alexia recited from memory in her Tia voice. She was good at altering her voice to match other peoples.

"And so," Tia continued looking slightly off put by Alexia's impersonation of her, "him carved out him heart, lock it down in a chest, and hide the chest from the world. The key he keep with him at all times."

"You knew this." Will turned his accusatory eyes to Jack.

"I did not." Jack lied. Xio snorted loudly drawing more looks.

"Yeah, he didn't know where the key was. The rest though…" Xio snickered while patting Will on the back, hard.

"So, all that's left is to climb aboard the Flying Dutchman, grab the key, you go back to Port Royal and save your bonnie lass, eh!" Jack jumped quickly from his chair and head for the door, pulling Alexia with him.

"No touch." She threw off his hand gripping her arm and went to stand next to Will's chair. Tia pushed back her chair roughly and stood with her hand out.

"Let me see your hand!" She shouted as Jack's hand reached for the door handle. He cringed before turned back around dejectedly. He wanted to offer his unmarked right hand but knew better and gave Tia the one Alexia had wrapped. Tia undid the makeshift bandages and gave everyone a look at the black spot on Jack's palm.

"The black spot!" Gibbs gasped dusting himself off, spinning around, and spitting on the ground after he's made his circle.

"Black spot!" Pintel and Ragetti shouted mimicking Gibbs' ritual. Xio and Alexia shared a look.

"Chalk another one up for the idiots of the world." Alexia sighed licking the tip of her finger and making another tick mark in the air.

"My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know." Jack pointed out. Tia turned on a heel and moseyed over to her back room again. They could all hear her rummaging around talking to herself. Will and Alexia stood beside each other bending forward to see what Tia was doing behind the beaded curtain. Meanwhile Jack was leaning over a near by table contemplating stealing another of Tia's trinkets. Xio slapped his hand.

"Leave her stuff alone. Do you have to be such a…pirate." She complained moving back to her chair to sit. Jack looked a little lost as Tia return with a large jar in her arms.

"Davy Jones cannot make port. Cannot step on land but once every ten years. Land is where you will be safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you." Tia offered Jack the jar. He took the jar slowly and raised an eyebrow at Tia.

"Dirt. This is a jar of dirt." Jack said in a deliberate manner. Tia nodded.

"Yes." She replied in the same tone. Alexia's giggles started up, she had to bury her head in Will's chest to keep quiet.

"Is the…jar of dirt going to help?" Jack asked, Alexia's giggles got louder.

"If you don't want it, give it back." Tia growled holding out her hands for the jar.

"No!" Jack said in his classic five year old voice, clutching the jar of dirt close to his chest like a security blanket. His possessive behavior made it hard for him to give up anything, useless or not, once it was his it was his.

"Then it helps." Jack glance around the room and flinched when Gibbs got to close to his jar. Alexia wiped a tear from her eye.

"It seems we have a need to find the Flying Dutchman." She noted looked over Tia's shoulder as she sat down and picked up her scrying items.

"A touch…" Tia cupped the random bits and pieces tightly in her hand before dropping them on a table. "of destiny."

* * *

Read and Review please. Oh and Merry Whatever-you-celebrate and Jesus' Birthday! (Trying to be politically correct)And a Happy New Year!


	11. 99 Red Ballons Go By

_**Hey I rewrote this chapter so reread. Sorry I had to cut some stuff out for reasons that are beyond my control.**_

Hey peeps what's the happs? So in this chapter both girls stand smiling as Will goes traipsing onto the Flying Dutchman to face Dave Jones. Meanwhile Jack confronts Alexia about her relationship with Will and they both end up run in circles trying to trick the other. Then Xio reveals that she will be the one joining Will on his father son boat instead of Alexia, trying to push the two of them together. And all the while it's time to head to Tortuga to get all those souls. I thought the title was appropriate for this chapter; Ninety nine red balloons go by. Makes sense.

**Don't Own Pirates, do own a shiny new call bell. I'm beyond happy about it.**

* * *

"Oh lord, kill me now!" Xio groaned falling to her knees and stretching her arms up to the heavens. The crew had made it back to the Pearl and Jack was currently trying to kick the girls out of his sleeping quarters.

"But it's my room!" He griped crossing his arms and stomping his feet.

"He's like a kid at Toys'r'us! I can't be around him." Alexia grimaced while pressing her hand to her forehead. It was throbbing from a major headache just from listening to Xio and Jack's argument. Will wrapped an arm around her shoulder trying to comfort her. Xio looked positively furious.

"You always fall asleep in you damn chair anyways. Why don't you get off your high horse and do something nice for someone else for a change!" She shouted getting all up in Jack's grill. He narrowed his eyes at the small Hispanic, debating whether her could take her or not, when he caught Alexia's eye. She gave him a small smile and he realized she would be sleeping in his bed.

"Okay." He agreed turning on a heel and sauntered over to the helm. Xio sighed in frustration and stormed over to Jack's Quarters, slamming the door behind her so hard that the glass panes shook dangerously.

"I should probably go talk to her." Alexia grumbled not really wanting to talk to her sister, because when she was angry she attacked anyone near her.

"Best let her cool off." Will whispered in Alexia's ear after spinning her round to face him and placed his hands firmly on her hips. She in turn wrapped her arms around his neck pulling his face closer.

"As much as I would love to stay here with you," Alexia leaned forward, her lips inches from Will's, "she's my sister and if I don't calm her down she'll most likely kill someone."

And with that Alexia twirled out of Will's embrace and strolled over to the French doors leading into Jack's office. She twisted back and smiled at Will.

"See you at dinner." She said cheerfully cutting her eyes at Jack before opening the doors. Will walked over to the helm and sighed happily.

"She's wonderful." He gloated. Jack gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

"Whatever you say eunuch." He growled staring off at the sunset in the horizon remembering that night he and Alexia sat on a beach drinking rum, talking about sailing together. But then he smiled, as if he had just figured out the meaning of life.

* * *

"Looks like I whipped the Captain into shape. " Xio boasted leaning back in her chair and balancing said chair perfectly on the two back legs. Alexia smiled and clapped her hands together.

"Why don't you go to dinner? And get me something I've got a killer headache and I doubt that I'll be able to sit in the same room as all those rowdy pirates." Alexia complained still rubbing her temples.

"Don't worry I gotche!" Xio called out as Alexia hunkered down into the lotus position to meditate on an idea to alter destines and get rid of her headache. Her thought were interrupted when the French doors opened again.

"There you are!" Jack shouted trying to startle Alexia from her trance but she sat stock still and opened her eyes slowly to glare at him.

"What is it now Jack?" She asked beckoning him to sit with her, laughing as he stumbled. She scribbled a few notes on her parchment paper.

"I just wanted to let you know that I know." He said leaning in and giving Alexia a knowing look. She looked up from her plans and raised an eyebrow at Jacks comment.

"Okay, why don't you try explaining this to me like I have no idea what you are talking about." She said trying not to be annoyed. Jack rubbed her chin until Alexia gestured for him to continue.

"You don't like Will the way he likes you." Alexia's eyes widened, "Not even a little bit hmmm, luv?"

"That's not true." She argued hiding her flushed face from Jack by standing up and rushing behind his desk with her parchment roll. Jack smiled following the girl so he stood directly behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"So you do like the whelp? You want to get married and have ten little rug rats running around while he's off at Blacksmith?" Jack teased, pushing down the scared voice in his mind that said "**_See, she does like Will better than you. Why did you have to be such imbecile before_**?" He was torn from his thoughts when Alexia pushed him roughly away from her. Being bare foot, pregnant, and in the kitchen were not very high on her current five year plan.

"I'm not getting married and having a bunch of kids Jack." She said acidily stabbing Jack in the chest with each word and backing him into one of his bookcases. In was in the moment that Jack realized that in order to break Will and Alexia up he had to wedge something between them.

"I'm not saying you have to but you might want to talk to Will about that. He has the plans all made up." Jack said innocently as he brushed past Alexia and towards the door leaving her shell shocked.

"You're lying." She accused spinning around on her heel to look at him. Jack laughed loudly.

"Whatever you say luv!" And with that he was gone. Will really wanted to marry _her_?

* * *

Xio stayed in the galley for an hour and a half harassing Jack, mocking Will, and eating most of the leftovers. When she managed to get back up to the Captains Quarters, with a small plate of pork, rice, and potatoes she could hear Alexia and Stan talking behind the door. Xio entered just as Stan snapped his fingers and disappeared. She fed Daisy her own bowl of rice and lettuce before placing a plate in front of her sister.

"What's going on?" Xio asked. Alexia swallowed her mouthful of food.

"Nothing, Stan just brought me some Tylenol for my headache. Oh, which reminds me," Alexia said rummaging through Jack's desk until she found a pen and a roll of parchment paper. Alexia flattened out the rolled up paper and turned to her sister.

"I need your help remembering all the information Will might need when he boards the Flying Dutchman later." She said with her pen poised at the ready.

"Why don't we trade again? I'll go Will and you can stay here with the Captain and get better acquainted." Xio said smiling like the devil before taking a bite from the apple she had been saving. Alexia froze.

"That's okay. I'll go with Will and sort out all this nonsense myself." Alexia kept her head down so Xio couldn't see her face.

"Nope, I want to torment the Pretty Boy for awhile. It would distract me in the greatest way." She smiled evilly, tilted her head slightly to the side, and looked off into space thinking about all the pranks and tricks she would play on Will behind his back.

"And there's no changing you mind?" Alexia asked pinching the bridge of her nose.

"And miss the daddy whelp reunion? Not on your life." Xio smiled shooting her apple core into the trash can and shouting "Jordan!"

"Righty then. Guess we won't need this list anymore. I will, of course, have to mention the idea of you going with Will, to him." Alexia said crumpling up the wasted parchment paper forlornly just as Will himself came bounding into the room.

"Jack said to tell you two to come out now. We're coming up on the Flying Dutchman as I speak." Will relayed. Both girls stood and started towards the door.

"Don't tell him what I'm up to! I want it to be a surprise!" Xio told Alexia cackling evilly and grabbing her knapsack she hadn't unpacked yet. Will moved hastily out of her way, afraid she might attack him. Alexia snickered behind her hand but stopped when Will gave her a look.

"I must proudly say that you, my fine fellow, are between a rock and a hard place right about now." She smiled when Will looked completely beyond confused, as usual.

"May I ask why you say such things?" Will questioned in an apprehensive tone.

"She can be very dangerous, that one." Alexia said absentmindedly grabbing two of Jack's coats as she walked out on deck.

* * *

"That's the Flying Dutchman?" Will asked unimpressed by the broken ship strewed in front of him on the reef. The storm raged around the group as they watched the waves pound the poor ship.

"Sure is." Xio smirked from underneath Jack's jacket that Alexia had given her.

"She doesn't look like much." Will said turning to face Jack.

"Neither do you," He commented coming up behind Will and slapping his shoulder roughly. Xio stood shivering horribly from the wind and rain.

"Do not underestimate it." Jack assured Will, giving Gibbs a meaningful glance before elbowing him in the ribs.

"Must've run afoul of the reef." Gibbs spoke up rubbing his now sore side. Alexia smacked Jack in the back of his head.

"That was mean." She said simply shrugged her shoulders when he slowly turned to her. Will looked from Alexia to Jack before wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she shuddered under his touch. Her mind still on wedding bells and five children all crying at the same time.

"So what's your plan?" Jack asked Will but he was staring at Alexia.

"I row over and search the ship until I find your bloody key." He said so smugly Alexia had to nudge him in the ribs with her elbow. She gave him a look for good measure.

"And if there are crewmen?" Jack inquired still not looking at Will but Alexia would not catch his eye.

"I cut down anyone in my path." Will boasted puffing his chest out like a roaster.

"I like it. Simple, easy to remember." Jack commented

"Forgot something!" Xio shouted running off to the Captain's Quarters at top speed. Will moved to the ships railing, watching Ragetti carefully lower down the dingy he was to operate. The choppy white capped waves made the dingy look especially teeny tiny.

"Not to make this idea seem even worse than it already is but… Xio kinda wants to come with you on the Flying Dutchman." Alexia tried to smile as she turned her head to glance at Will. His face immediately fell.

"Do you hate me?" He asked seriously.

"No she just needs a change of scenery, is all. She just may kill Jack in his sleep soon and I will not have blood on my hands." Alexia joked but Will was still looking unnerved.

"Please, for me. Just let her mess about with you and I'll let you mess about with me. If you catch my drift…" She bumped her hip against Will's and caught Jack looking at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't want kids!" She shouted unconsciously. Will gave her an odd look as she slapped a hand over her mouth. Will was prevented from asking what she meant when Xio came running up with her knapsack. In her flurry of excitement she ended up knocking him carelessly overboard.

"Whoops!" She said innocently throwing her hands up in the air in the classic "oh well" motion. Alexia gave her a look.

"I'm okay!" Will yelled back, the two girls leaned over the ship's railing to see that he had landed safely in the dingy. Alexia turned to Xio.

"You next!" She said shoving her sister roughly overboard. Xio screamed and landed heavily on top of Will. There was a grunt.

"Ow." Will complained.

"So long, farewell, auf weidersehen adieu. Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you!" Alexia caroled in a sing song voice happily waving to two off in her own merry way. Xio smiled at the Sound of Music reference.

"The hills are alive with the sound of PANTS!" Xio sang but yelled the last word making Alexia have another laughing fit.

"Oh my aching sides." She sighed.

"Oi! If you do happen to get captured, just say Jack Sparrow sent you to settle his debt. Might save your life!" Jack yelled in an encouraging tone. Alexia snorted.

"As if that'll turn out okay." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"Douse the lamps." Jack commanded.

* * *

Xio watched morosely as every last light on the Black Pearl was extinguished. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Will paddled up to the broken ship and climbed up onto the deck. He held out his hand to Xio.

"Come on." He grunted pulling Xio up on deck with him. They searched the ship together to find nothing but dead bodies. Xio stuck close the Will not wanting to be attacked by zombies.

"There's someone." She whispered to Will pointing to a man frantically trying to raise the sail. He seemed to be puttering on to himself unaware he was on a ship wreck.

"Sailor. Sailor! There's no use, you've run aground." Will tried to stop the man by pulling on his shirt sleeve but the man threw off his hands angrily.

"No! Beneath us. Foul breathe…not a prayer for any of us…" The man muttered aimlessly still tugging on the rigging in a failed attempt to raise the mast. Xio let out a scream when a rogue body dropped from the mast. The man crawled slowly out of the puddle of water he landed in but then went limp.

"Hey! Hey!" Will went running forward to help the man while Xio stood stock still, rooted to her spot. This had definitely been a bad idea.

"Are you all right sailor?" Will asked turning the man over and finding his face gone, covered by a pulsing fleshy bulge of skin. Will flinched back from seeing his face.

"Will look!" Xio pointed the rough sea just as the Flying Dutchman reared up out of the water in a magnificent display. The crewmen then materialized out of the ships woodwork and they started rounding up those left alive, including Xio. She shot to Will's side with her sword out.

"Ya'll best back the hell up!" Xio roared as the crewmen advanced forward. Will unsheathed his sword as menacing as possible.

"Down on your marrowbones and prayer!" A sea creature-like crew member growled.

"Bring it on seafood platter!" Xio yelled as she and Will began to fight the sushi part of any good restaurant menu. When they started to lose Will dipped his sword in a barrel of oil and broke it against his lantern. It immediately caught fire and Will was able to push back the fish people forces.

"Get back! Back!" He growled slicing open a fish man who got too close to Xio. Fish and guts came splashing out of the wound, making her gag.

"Wait, Will! Don't get…," Xio began but it was too late. He had already been knocked on the head and went out like a light.

"distracted." Xio sighed as the fish people surrounded her. She smiled with a shrug.

"Where do I kneel?" She asked completely defeated.

* * *

The six survivors were lined up in a row kneeling, except for Will who was slumped over in a pile of person. Xio kneed him when the thudding steps of Davy Jones' peg leg broke the silence.

"Get up!" She hissed kneeing him harder until he awoke with a grunt.

"Six persons still alive, the rest have moved on." A man with lobster legs shooting out from his back said to Jones in a harsh gravely tone. Jones smirked and thudded over to a sailor whimpering with fright. Xio shook her head at the pathetic mess beside her. He crouched down casually lighting his pipe using only his tentacles.

"Do you fear death?" Jones asked with a weird habit of popping air from his tentacle holes. Xio made a face of disgust, "Do you fear the dark abyss?"

The sailor nodded shakily. Xio snorted at his weakness.

"All your deeds laid bare. All your sins punished. I can offer you an escape." He drawled.

"Don't listen to him!" Another sailor shouting, holding onto his crucifix so hard he was shaking like a leave in the wind. Jones, unhappy that someone had interrupted him, stepped up to said sailor and grabbed his throat with his clawed hand. Xio budded up to Will.

"Do you not fear death?" He asked forebodingly.

"I'll take my chance, sir." The sailor challenged. Jones shared another smirk with the hammer-head shark.

"To the depths." Jones motioned to the spiky headed fish man who stepped behind the sailor. He sliced the man's throat and threw his body overboard in one smooth motion. Xio buried her face in Will's chest to hide her whine. He wrapped an arm around her.

"Cold blooded-!" Another scared sailor began to yelped but Jones cut him off.

"Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different? I offer you a choice. Join my crew and postpone the judgment. One hundred years before the mast." He walked up slowly to the crewman.

"Will ye serve?"

"I-I-I will serve." The sailor stuttered horribly. Jones smiled or barred his teeth and finally saw Will and Xio at the end of the queue up.

"You two are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?" He questioned half uncaring. Xio tilted her head to the darkened Pearl floating on the water.

"Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt." Will said cringing as he replied. Jones did a double take.

"What is your purpose here?" He asked again leaning in closer. Will looked to Xio who nodded for him to continue.

"Jack Sparrow…sent me to settle his debt." Will repeated.

"Ha!" Jones laughed.

"Did he now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer." Jones laughed looking out over the water towards the unseen Pearl.

* * *

"Do you see them yet?" Alexia asked pressing up against Jack trying to see through his telescope. Jack turned his head slowly to Alexia and raised an eyebrow at her antics.

"Well?"

"I think if you get a bit closer you'll see them." Jack grinned curling his arm around Alexia and pulling her in close. She pushed him roughly and stole the telescope from his grip.

"Stop it Jack. You just sent my sister and Will to their death! And if they do not return there will be hell to pay." She growled looking through the scope and searching the ship deck for Will and Xio. She spotted them kneeling down on the deck in front of Davy Jones himself. Will seemed to be saying something making Jones turn and look out directly at Alexia. Her heart stopped.

"Jones." She whispered lowering the telescope and coming face to face with tentacle man. The Pearl's crew gasped in fright and backed as far away from Jones as they could right into the hands of Jones' henchmen as they materialized from the Pearls woodwork.

"Oh." Jack commented from behind Alexia. She closed the telescope never breaking eye contact with Jones.

"You have a sister don't ye?" He asked in his weird accent.

"I do." She said narrowing her eyes at Jones. He smirked before switching his focus to Jack.

"You have a debt to pay." Jones limped skillfully towards Jack as he backed away slowly.

"You've been Captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement." Jones said raising her voice with every step. Jack held up his hands.

"Technically, I was only Captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon." He tried to explain as quickly as he could but Jones was not swallowing his story.

"Then you were a poor Captain, but a Captain nonetheless. Have you not introduced yourself all these years as 'Captain Jack Sparrow'?" He laughed his crew joining in but when he turned to Alexia she stood with her arms crossed, her eyes flashed.

"Yeah, I gave you payment. One soul to serve on your ship, he's already over there!" He motioned towards the Dutchman. Alexia punched Jack in the arm so it went dead.

"Except for my sister, she will not be traded like cattle." Alexia said through her clenched jaw before smiling sweetly at Jones.

"Got it?" She inquired tilting her head to the side. Jones stepped towards her.

"What makes you think I will take orders from you?" He questioned. Alexia's smiled morphed into a wicked smirk.

"Because I know what you are. And I know where your heart lies. Davy Jones." She hissed holding up the crab shaped locket. He looked from the locket to Alexia.

"Calypso." He whispered reaching for the treasured keepsake but Alexia quickly balled up the locket and shoved it back into her pocket.

"You leave my sister out of it or I'll tell you know who that you were the one responsible for her current human state." She growled leaning into Jones' personal bubble. He gazed at her stern face and gauged something.

"No need to be harsh. She will not be harmed." He managed a smiled before turning back to Jack. Alexia let out the breath she'd been holding, glad Jones hadn't underestimated her fury.

"One soul is not equal to another." Jones argued. Jack's faced brightened.

"Aha! So we've established my proposal is sound in principle, now we're just haggling over a price." He rubbed his hand together all spirited that his soul was no longer on the chopping block.

"Price?" Jones thought for a moment, his tentacles popping in the most disgusting way as he turned back to Alexia.

"Just how many souls, do you think, my soul is worth?" Jack asked when he finally noticed that Jones had been eyeing Alexia hoping he wouldn't take her in his place.

"One hundred souls. Three days." Jones finally decided.

"You're a darling, mate. Send me back the boy, I'll get started right off." Jack tried to walk away but the sea creature man with lobster back stopped him.

"I keep the boy, a good, faith payment. That leaves you only ninety-nine to go." Jones laughed.

"Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic, and a terrific soprano. Worth at least four, maybe three and a half." Jack baited Jones but it wasn't working. He looked deep down inside of himself to remember the Davy Jones legend. An idea popped into his head.

"And did I mention he's in love. With a girl." Jack said in a hushed tone leaning in closer over Jones' shoulder. Jack gave Alexia an all knowing nod but she shook her head and waved her arms in a "nix sa on the story-a" type way.

"Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from her would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony. Aye?" The story was starting to get to him especially when he glanced towards Alexia remembering that certain crab locket from his only true love. But then his face hardened and he shook from pent up anger.

"I keep the boy. Ninty-nine souls-ah." Jones said drawing out the last word. Jack stomped his foot in frustration and chewed on his lip in thought.

"But I wonder, Sparrow… can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man- a friend- to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?" Jones inquired leaning into Jack. He though for a moment then quickly nodded.

"Yep I'm good with it," This was Alexia's cue to smack Jack's arm, "Shall we seal it in blood, uh, I mean ink?" Jack corrected himself and gasped when Jones grabbed his left hand with his tentacled one to shake on it.

"Ahhhh." Jack said swallowing back the bile rising in his throat. Even Alexia looked about ready to gag just from the squishing sound.

"That's so gross." She said in a disgusted tone wrinkling her nose and sticking out her tongue.

"Three days-ahhhh." Jones repeated as there was a large popping noise when he had to practically tear his hand from Jack's. His crew then echoed three days until they meshed back into the Pearl's wood work. Jack looked at his slim covered hand to see that the black spot had vanished.

"Uh, Mr. Gibbs?" Jack beckoned Gibbs forward.

"Aye." He walked forward to stand next to his Captain.

"I feel sullied and unusual." Jack commented wobbling on the spot he stood. Gibb gave him a once over.

"And how do we intend to harvest these ninety-nine souls in three days?" He asked in a genuinely interested tone.

"Fortunately, he was mum as to the condition in which these souls need be." Alexia pointed out as she strolled up to join Gibbs and Jack.

"Aah, Tortuga." Gibbs marveled as Jack nodded his head and wiped his slimy hand on his vest. Alexia latched her hand over her mouth.

"I think I'm going to vomit!" She yelled but it came out muffled by her hand.

"Tortuga." Jack smiled making sure all the slimy had been wiped over.

"I'm hungry." Alexia realized running down to the galley for some grub. Jack and Gibbs shared a look.

"Was she not just sick a moment before?" Gibbs asked scratching his head.

"Noting can keep that girl from food." Jack commented making his way to the galley also to join Alexia for a little _alone_ time.

* * *

I've had writers block for quite a time now. It took a bad case of the Flu to get my imagination going. Not to mention I've been watch all sorts of cartoons and movies like Hook, Finding Neverland, Clueless, Richie Rich Show, The Pink Panther, and Home Improvement. It got the juices flowing so I can keep chugging along.


	12. Author's Note Christmas Surprise!

Hello there secret readers! I just wanted to let you all know that I will be finishing Return of the Gal Pals.

Now you're probably thinking along the lines of _really? after all this time? yeah right_ or _who cares I don't read your story anymore_ and these are all acceptable responses. However, I will be finishing this story because I sort of owe it to everyone who took the time to read my dumb self insert fanfic about three girls frolicking around with pirates even though self inserts are frowned upon in most fandoms.

Well tough nuggets because self inserts are the only way I can tell my jokes without the main characters being really out of character. That makes sense just don't think about it too long. Anyways expect a chapter by christmas.

Happy Christmas readers! - _From your loving slave writer._


End file.
